Any way to be the first one to break no contact without giving her all the power?

Really really long story short me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up 4 weeks ago, this was the first major relationship either one of us had ever been in she is 19 I am 21. We broke up because she said the she felt like the feelings she had for me had changed, I agreed with her to an extent but the breakup was more her idea than it was mine. Anyways I've been thinking a lot during this past month and I've taken time to branch out, hanging out with new people and taking time to enjoy myself and I feel that I am in a much stable mind set than what I was much after we first broke up. So I've been thinking about texting her asking if she would want to meet up and maybe talk over lunch or something like that. Thing is that neither one of us have talked to or texted each other since the break up. From what a bunch of people have told me if I'm the one that text her first ill be giving her all the power and itll make me look weak. I understand this but I figure heck what do I have to lose, I'm at a spot where I'm pretty happy with my life but I still think about her from time to time and I'm just interested as to what her feelings are now that she's had time to think as well. if she turns me down then oh well Ill just put it behind me and forget about it. So my main question is if there's anyway I can be the one to contact her first without putting her in a position where she has the power, Or is there a way I could get her to be more interested in meeting up with me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • well ,hear me my friend , you are the one who knows how close and in love you guys were , so if you believe that what you guys had deserves another chance , then yes go for it , in the end it is one life that we will have , and what is the loss if she rejected you ? nothing , but that at least you will know that you did your very best and that you once tried real love , but I suggest that you try to know if she is seeing someone else or not , if not , go with your heart and contact her , if I were you I would do that , don't hesitate :) , and send her something nice , like a video you find funny and tell her '' hey ... I felt that you would like that :D check it '' , if she replied in a positive way then go for it , and by this idea even if she just replied with ''yes, nice '' you wouldn't look so ugly ;) , you get the trick ?! :D , do that and please please tell me what happened , cause I have been there and it worked for me real good :D

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    • alright thanks for your advice! I'm gonna give it 2 or 3 more weeks just so I can get my mind straight so I can handle the situation without having my emotions influence me as much, Ill be sure to let you know what I do and how it works

    • okay fine , yes when I did that it was more than a month too , but still you don't want her to move on too , so don't wait too much or she will move on , not necessary to someone else but if you waited to long her feelings may cool down more and more , I think you just wait for 1-2 weeks instead

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think it's a matter of who will have the power. I just don't think you should contact her since it was her idea to break it off.. I think if you let something go then it will come back to you if it was meant to be.. you should stay strong and not contact her.

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What Guys Said 1

  • She dumped you and didn't look back.

    If nobody said no-contact, you can send her a text or something. Make it light hearted. DO NOT tell her 'good news I've changed!'. Just something funny or whatever. It's -possible- she is worried you're upset and is giving you space.

    But my guess is she's already hooking up with other guys.

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    • my brothers have seen her a couple times and they said she was nice to them and stuff, and form what people have told me she hasn't moved on to anyone else or made any moves on any new guys. I'm assuming that she missin me but I'm having a hard time brining myself to be the one to break contact when she left me, but on the other hand I miss her and want to try to make it work with her at the same time.

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    • true... so I guess I'm just going to have to assume that she would be able to swallow her pride and contact me if she changes her mind, if not then that's her problem

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