After my ex boyfriend broke up with me I tried to date with nice guys but I can't forget about my ex bf?

I had a LDR boyfriend of 2 years but he did not talk to me for about 2 months. I loved him so much ( I still do) and I am not sure what happened to him but I interepreted the 2 month silence is a break up...I am having hard time moving on because he was my perfect man. He was sweet, handsome and caring person...(well until 2 month ago aguess)

Anyhow, I decided to move on and I tried to date with 2 guys. Both of them are super nice. They treated me very well and took me out to dinner to nice restaurants. Both of them asked me for the second date but I do not feel like to see them again. They are polite and mature. They have good jobs and don't play games. I think they will be ideal boyfriend since they want real serious relationship that I am also looking for...but I could not motivate myself to see then again.

I want to move on,..I thought dating with other guys are the easiest way to forget about my boyfriend but its not working...

I do not know when I can get over my bf...I thought I could be attracted to the nice guys like I dated but it did not work at all.

What is the best way to get over ex?

The hardest thing is that there was no closure with my ex. He got depressed and he disappered. I wish I could hear what happened to him so that it would help me move on...but it seems like its not happening so far...I want to move on as soon as possible...


Most Helpful Girl

  • We've all been down that same "road of doom." sweetie. And the road, over time, has become even "rockier, hard to drive over," because today's men are what they are.

    Many guys today are not only "depressed," but are sporadic, unpredictable, and one minute they want a relationship and everything is great, and the next day, they suddenly stop texting and calling and---yes, just "disappear," as you found out. It's called "My space," and if they have to just like"fall off the face of the universe to get it," they will.

    You obviously are not ready to go down another road with anyone right now, because you haven't completely gotten over him. You not only don't have a closure, but your heart is still pining away, making it hard to cross "another intersection" in your life.

    Many people, like yourself, DO what you tried to do, and yes, that was to move on and start going out in the world again--having "failed miserably." I was doing what you were doing, with the "rebound resources". It involved my first love. Using every guy, although "subconsciously"" as some sort of "break up back up", comparing his every little look and move, to the "one who got away." It never was a good thing, never lasted, because I was still in love with a "ghost from my past."

    I finally found closure with him years later. Our relationship had started at 13, ended at 16, and 5 years and 10 more guys later...we found ourselves trying to "lite the fires" once more. But when it happened, I realized just THEN, I had changed, he had changed, both our lives had changed, and this "one last kiss for the road," was a closure for both of us, that NOW, we finally could move on. Dan now could go and marry this other girl, I, in turn could continue my search, but it would now be different and ---WAS different--because "the man who got away" truly was---gone away, and so were finally my "feelings of yester- time."

    I have to give you a lot of credit that you saw that you weren't able to do the "rebound resources," act, I call it. Because I have seen many of these sad cases, even here, and somehow someone always ends up getting hurt in the interim.

    Spend a little more time "licking your wounds," sweetie. You need to do this. "Time heals all wounds," as they say, and although not right away, may even take years, and hopefully does.

    One day, when you feel ready to go down"another road to possibly paradise," you will know it, and feel it, and be able to finally decipher what is real and what, at one time, would have been just a---rebound.

    In the mean time, instead of guys, get together with some of your girl friends and just mingle some socially. Even if it is to go shopping and grab a plate of Chinese, just get out of the house so you don't allow this "ghost of the past" to consume you and haunt you. Hibernation is bad too.

    Things will finally "take a turn for the better," it just takes you and---the hands of time to make it happen.

    Good luck, and take care...for now.:))


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What Guys Said 1

  • LDR are very difficult. most likely if he stop calling is because he found someone else and he don't want you to talk him back into a relationship with u. it's hard for a nice guy to break up with a woman because he don't want to upset or hurt your feelings. so, he rather keep you wondering... ! now I tell my daughters this that life is full of chapters you have to keep turning pages to keep your life moving once the pages stop turning your either dead or you have writers block. the only way to get rid of writers block is to explore a new avenue... sometimes you want closer but you may not get closer for another 5 or 6 chapters or it may just be your cliffhanger in life. just don't put all your emotional stock in one chapter when you have many chapters in your life.


What Girls Said 1

  • Basically everything Paris13 said! Guys are so different then us girls-- where we can keep our feelings for different things separate (like if you're depressed because of work, you can still be happy and in love with a guy), guys tend to let feelings from other aspects of their lives get mixed with the feelings of another part. Remember hearing that girls can multitask, but guys can't? It's the same thing with relationships. A lot of guys feel that they can't put the effort into a serious relationship when they're putting effort into something else (like their job, their family, their emotions, whatever). And for whatever reason, a lot of guys find it acceptable to just disappear, rather than to give an explanation as to why (this I do not understand. At all.)

    As for getting over your ex, it's going to be hard. When you don't have closure it sucks because all you can think about is why? You come up with all these possibilities in your head. While it feels somewhat OK to just date (it's almost like if you date other guys, you're getting back at him for what he did), it doesn't get rid of those feelings that you still have for him. The best thing to do is tell yourself that you are a good person, and that you deserve to be loved. Keep saying to yourself that everything will turn out OK in the future, and that you just have to get past the tough parts in your life to get there. Have fun with your friends, work hard, and try your best to be happy. Hopefully one day, you do find out what went wrong and get that closure, finally.


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