He broke up with me after 4 years... scarred forever?

My (now ex) boyfriend broke up with me after 4 years of relationship. I never cheated on him, he was the only one I could actually imagine having children with. Things weren't great between us in the last few months but I thought it was just a passing phase. I just didn't think he could leave, then he broke up with me. For weeks I hoped for him to come back, but the weeks turned into months and I lost all hope, and it hurt like hell. As if the pain wasn't enough I know he's in a relationship with someone else, she seems like a good girl and is quite pretty, they met someone just a few months after the break-up, which makes me feel terrible. As for me I've managed to carry on with my life, I'm still single, but I'm luckilly surrounded by a loving family and a bunch of good friends. If you've had a similar experience or if you'd like to give me a piece of advice, please share.

0|0
53

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, sweetie, I certainly have had a few similar experiences, dealing with today's guy, and with this, I have been happily and--luckily--able to come here and---"tell all."

    Instead of me going into another long saga from what I just posted this afternoon of a girl who was very much in your sad situation, I am going to direct you to this category for you to read. Like me, you most likely, as well, will break down and cry like a baby, during and after this, because you will know that there are others out there who share your grief, share your feelings and most of all---share your story. I, for one, was one of them.

    Allow me to bold it all here so I can best direct you, and you can tell me , even HERE, what you think. I didn't want to repeat myself again, so being this is so very very familiar, I am sure , in more ways than one, I hope you don't mind "going to this category" and "catching me there."

    Here it is:

    CATEGORY: BREAK -UP

    'I'M AT ROCK BOTTOM HEARTBROKEN? PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME ADVICE. I'M LOST.

    Go on this, and you will find me. I left some very interesting bit of news for this. Hope it helps you and---just anyone in a similar synopsis ...

    I look forward to "meeting you back here," sweetie.xx

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Yes, we have all gone through this. You are like the rest of us who have gone through it - you thought he would never leave, therefore didn't put in the effort in the months leading up to the relationship to make things right. I have done it a few times when work is too busy or a family emergency is taking my time, and each time, the girl either flat out leaves, or cheats.

    There are a few lessons to learn.

    #1 - Learn from the experience and next time, don't let it happen. I'm not saying its your fault, but, when things are getting iffy in the relationship, be sure to do whatever you can to make them better.

    #2 - Who cares about this dude? He is THE PAST. Don't be a dog, don't eat your own throw up. Delete his stuff, for real, and actually and literally move on. Don't think somewhere down the line you will get back together. If you do, and you held on to his stuff, he is going to think your clingy anyways. The best thing to do, is actually delete his pictures, defriend him on FB, don't stalk, don't think, don't do anything involving him. And move on. Live in the present, not the past. And presently, this jerk just walked out of your life. So, don't let him control it. He is a moron to leave, so let him go. I am serious on this point. Let him go and don't ever take him back.

    #3 Enjoy the single time. I know its hard, I am single now too. But, go date other people. I am in the phase where I am dating, but honestly, I'm not having sex with people. I don't care what my ex is doing, I personally don't want a relationship now. I am enjoying seeing friends and family and doing things on my own, being a bachelor. Join Tinder and boost your confidence seeing who "likes" you even if you don't ever meet up can help for sure!

    #4 - The main thing to remember in all of this, is you are one of probably 800 million people in the world going through the same exact thing right now. Once you have mentally moved on from this guy, time heals quite quickly. You only gained experience and knowledge through all of this, and me, your parents, everyone you know, has had their heart broken before. But, its been a few months, the time is now to man up, tell yourself you don't need this BS in your life, and move on.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Cherish the good times, learn from the mistakes made, grow as a person and be happy for your health. Be happy for you and no one else. Be happy regardless of who or who is not in your life. Define your own happiness. Find others in need. Put things in perspective. These are just useless words but I promise if you help someone it will help you. Stay busy and keep your chin up. You will be fine soon my friend.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe you were just too different to stay together. Try to think of things that way. Or, you were too young when you became a couple, and he wasn't ready to settle down with anyone.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • I feel so sorry about you, but I also feel good that you are surrounded by a loving family and a bunch of good friends. Your ex is an asshole and period. It is bad that he broke up with you after 4 years, but thank God he broke up with you now and not after many other years. You are still young, so the chances you will find someone way better than him and someone who you can also imagine having children with are high. All you need is to be patient and hope. Patience is key. And I wish you all the best in your life and I really hope that you will find sooner or later someone who treats you like you deserve it. Just move on, don't think or worry about it too much because no matter what happens, life goes on.

    0|0
    0|0
  • how are you coping now? things get any better since you posted this?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yep. I'm a tough egg to crack so when I fell in love, opened up to, and trusted a guy who was hard working, caring, and hopeful to have a family one day, I pretty much thought he was the one. We didn't last as long as you and your ex, but it still hurt. The only indication that I had that he would leave me was that we both were getting busy. Other than that, I was the one who needed space. I never thought he would leave the way that he did, (or at all!) I know he's with someone else, but I wish we had a second chance. There were things about him I didn't understand until it ended, and I wish I had taken note of those things.

    As for how I'm dealing with it, I have a good family and friends. I'm trying to date again. I'm focusing on school, and having fun and enjoying myself. I was always a wallflower and stayed home and stuff (I'm in college) but I have a list of things I want to do before I get into a relationship that is super serious (like my relationship with this guy's was turning into). I figure I could be sad about it and wait until the next prince charming comes along, or I can enjoy every moment until then. I've been hurt before, and I was very sad about it, and changed a lot. I didn't go out much, and didn't care about being social. This time, I want it to be different, so that's what I'm doing!

    I also deleted him on Facebook and other media, for now at least. As much as I want to creep on him and see what he's doing, I know it will only hurt me worse.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yep, get rid of everything that remind you of him. Don't stalk him because it will not help. Block him on FB.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...