I'm at rock bottom heartbroken? Please someone give me advise I'm lost!

. I'm with my boyfriend a year we live together . At the start I came first no matter what and we both had a equal relationship .

Recently we have been fighting non stop and making up .

He seems to have lost Intrest and put himself first all the time . Our relationship isn't fun anymore because two people can't have fun when one is all about me me me . The only time he sees me Is after work when he's over tired from working and going gym after work .

He's stop taken me out on dates . And arranged to go for dinner with his friends. We had an argument about this he felt guilty and made dinner very romantic but just to get around me . next morning I needed the morning after pill. He payed and we got it I felt like dirt . He went the gym on his only day off and arranged to meet up with his friends and didn't come down to see me after taken the pill he new last time I got sick and had bad headaches .

I just got to comfortable I've lost all my friends because my. Life revolves around him .

I've only myself to blame :-( , my boyfriend has a huge ego . I know it's important to see friends but he arranges to spend time with them on his only day off . He won't spend any money on me he use to not go anywhere without me I use to go to see his friends and I got along well with them .

He told me that my friends where using bitches . That they only use me .

I feel like his bootie call just wants me when nothing else is happening . He's not cheating he is genuinely is seen his friends .

His friends say how beautiful I am and I think he doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me . I get a lot of male attention think he just doesn't want anyone else to have me

I've cried to him but he makes me out to be insure and needy . I I've just broke up with him and I'm going to leave him for a few weeks . He needs to appreciate me and I need to get my life back without anyone telling me what to do . Advise please


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hold my hand, sweetie, my heart and---tears---are "over flowing" for you right now, as I am trying to see through them, writing this to you.

    I am very familiar with this same situation. As I am hearing your "familiar tune," it's bringing back those memories of "yester time," and I am RE living, once again---in your soft heart ed, spongy shoes.

    From my experience, "The all time love" always somehow ends up "An all time farce," and unless the "other of fault" can change their "evil ways," there will NEVER be any----"appreciation."

    Guys like him sort of "change their stripes" and---minds---over nite. They become abusive, sporadic, uninterested, cold as fish, unfeeling and uncaring, they blame you for everything, rarely text, calling next to null and void, find excuses to just "disappear," become suddenly "busy as a beaver(no cheating--yet), and friends become more of a priority.

    This "long list of blah, blah, blah's" gets to be both frustrating and tiresome, and not to forget: Tears unlimited, followed by NO hope.

    And true. You can easily "revolve" your whole life around these cold ducks, losing family, friends, even losing site of your own life and----self respect, as well.

    It's simply: "straight to the sheet," and if you happened to have been lucky to do what was maybe 'fun' on the outside," it was always a "booty call to go," and just a convenience when "again needed, then defeated."

    They get in this "pattern", this sudden new found life. Call it "male menopause,' or just a "moment in time," in which to "find themselves, need more space, need more time to think," and whatever lame excuse they can deftly come up with.

    And of course, THEIR "no blind" friends can see how beautiful you are. The guy I was with, had a BEST EST friend(same name, same culture), and this close bud even told HIM how LUCKY he was to have MEE. Then (again)when he sporadically returns to his country for a "sick mother," his 'BEST EST" tries to get it on with me, telling me his heartfelt love. My guy learns of his "forwardness," but the ONLY thing thing this "ADD ASS" seems to be concerned about is: Did I have coffee with him?

    Yes, they "don't want you, and don't want anyone else to, either," so this is all part of their "emotionally unstable" disorder.

    They say: "Shit runs downhill," and it's true. All in ONE direction, and ends up in the same dirty "rock bottom hole." When you say "break up and leave him for a few weeks," does this mean you are going to return for even--MORE OF THE SAME?

    Of course, I cannot tell you what to do. You are here reaching out for help, and as "experienced as I am with this help," I doubt very much, you will see any great improvements any time soon. Sorry. They just get worse, and I can tell you something else, from my own experience, you can dangle all the carrots over their "seedy, one sided" little nose, but the "whinny" truth is, YOU CANNOT WIN. End of story.xx

    • To be fair, I am not "lashing out" at any guy HERE..Just at the ones I know that holds true. Thank you.xx

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What Guys Said 3

  • You definitely made the right move by breaking up with him and giving him some space! whatever you do DO NOT CONTACT HIM he needs to realize what he had and what he has lost. If he can't realize that and swallow his pride and be the one to contact you first then he doesn't deserve you! Just try to take this time to do stuff that makes you happy, try to hand out with your friends more and maybe start a new hobby or something. Making sure that your happy is what's most important right now

  • Move to a better life with better people in it. Rejoice in learning from your mistakes.


  • some guys just won't know what they have until its gone. I bet you this will be the case for him. From what I can tell by your post you are a very caring and genuine partner. Do not accept anything less than what you give, meet halfway at the bridge. The fact that he doesn't means you need to let him go. You will find someone else, and it will be too late for him to figure out it was his loss. Free yourself from pain, because if he loved you,or even cared about you he would never do this to you. Just remember that. Don't ever blame yourself for this fools actions.


What Girls Said 3

  • I think you should talk to someone who is close with you. What your ex did is really not acceptable. You have to move on.

  • Reach out to someone you were close to befor him. Family friend any one. Surround yourself. It's important

  • You've made the right decision to break up. I'm sorry to say this, sometimes when someone is fed up with being in a relationship they just start distancing themselves from you and acting more and more like an a-hole instead of dealing with it. They don't want to fix things because they're done, but they're too cowardly to actually break up with you, so they just string you along and wait for you to be so miserable that you break up with them. But he's also showing domineering qualities. that's a bad sign.

    The thing about him not wanting anyone else to have you is a huge red flag. This is a sign of an abusive relationship. Remember, abuse doesn't have to be physical. Verbal abuse can be just as bad. He's the one using you not your friends. You need to get out of there, stay away from him because you don't want to get stuck in a trap. Don't leave him for a few weeks, leave him for good. This is no longer a healthy relationship.


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