Most Helpful Girl
In my experience with a few heartaches and yes---heart breaks---breaking up is always the hardest in life to do. There is this missing link in the pit of our stomachs after the fact, and some sad, empty void that I think is just plain loneliness. And more than often, it takes time to lick our wounds and to finally move on. But yes, with time, is healing, and with healing, is then a closure, for starting over. Maybe this time with someone who we can better relate to.
Not only is love and loyalty a plus in any relationship, but keeping the lines of communication open are one of the most important factors. Without it, you may as well be "talking to the wall," or just yourself, for that matter.
Being you are the one who initiated the break-up, sweetie, I am feeling there may be no future chance of any reconciliation? That although you gave it your best, it's now history, and you just want to move on---without the other "quiet side".
If you found he was just a hopeless romantic with hopeless ideas of what it meant to keep the wires burning, then you know best. And, if it is any consolation, you both ended things on a good note of being just friends now, and---with no benefits.
Yes, loving someone for that period of time, and actually have built a life with him, not to mention around him, will take time. But keeping your mind busy on other things, directing your thoughts to something else, although hard, in time, will help wash away the salt in the wounds.
It is natural, and quite normal, too, to always feel you will hold some sort of safekeeping for him. Although you say you still "honestly do love him," you probably always will deep down, but you also know it's not a healthy kind of love if there is nothing left to talk about.
In time, you will find another who will be more deserving of who you are, what you have to offer, and hopefully someone whom you can carry on every thought with.
Good luck and stay strong.xx1