Why do I feel sad even though I ended the relationship?

So I finally ended my relationship of a year and 5 months today. We've been having problems with communication and it doesn't seem like things were gonna changed. The break up wasn't nasty at all, we talked we apologized and although he didn't want to break up, I told him I just need time, over time if we get back together than so be it. I offered to be friends and he agreed. After talking for two hours I hung up to go do my homework. The thing is I started crying after, I honestly do love him and will always care about him, is it just gonna take time?


Most Helpful Girl

  • In my experience with a few heartaches and yes---heart breaks---breaking up is always the hardest in life to do. There is this missing link in the pit of our stomachs after the fact, and some sad, empty void that I think is just plain loneliness. And more than often, it takes time to lick our wounds and to finally move on. But yes, with time, is healing, and with healing, is then a closure, for starting over. Maybe this time with someone who we can better relate to.

    Not only is love and loyalty a plus in any relationship, but keeping the lines of communication open are one of the most important factors. Without it, you may as well be "talking to the wall," or just yourself, for that matter.

    Being you are the one who initiated the break-up, sweetie, I am feeling there may be no future chance of any reconciliation? That although you gave it your best, it's now history, and you just want to move on---without the other "quiet side".

    If you found he was just a hopeless romantic with hopeless ideas of what it meant to keep the wires burning, then you know best. And, if it is any consolation, you both ended things on a good note of being just friends now, and---with no benefits.

    Yes, loving someone for that period of time, and actually have built a life with him, not to mention around him, will take time. But keeping your mind busy on other things, directing your thoughts to something else, although hard, in time, will help wash away the salt in the wounds.

    It is natural, and quite normal, too, to always feel you will hold some sort of safekeeping for him. Although you say you still "honestly do love him," you probably always will deep down, but you also know it's not a healthy kind of love if there is nothing left to talk about.

    In time, you will find another who will be more deserving of who you are, what you have to offer, and hopefully someone whom you can carry on every thought with.

    Good luck and stay strong.xx

    • Perfect <3 when ever I feel like crying I'll read this.

    • Thank you..I'm glad it helped..:))xx

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe the reason isn't as important as what you gave up... As in you would really preferred the relationship to last, but at the time you felt communication was a big issue so you ended it based on how you felt at that time. Yes you could get over it in time as you could get over anything in time. But what you want to do is up to you, you need to think about whether you want to go back into a relationship or you want to just start fresh. Otherwise you'll dwell on one thing or another and it gets you nowhere.


What Girls Said 2

  • You're obviously not happy about breaking up, and deep down you still want to be with him. You may want to reconsider breaking up, and instead like you said just taking a break. People break up and then get back together all the time, sometimes you just need a wake up call to turn your relationship around. Just start talking to him again and take it slowly.

    • I agree.

      If you break up, you should feel relieved and more happy.

      And otherwise you should work on things, because breaking up will make you feel worse.

  • You recognized something wasn't right and you chose to end the relationship. It's going to hurt whether it was you who let go, or him. Yes, the answer is time. It'll hurt like hell for awhile, and little by little, the pain will go away. Then one day, you'll realize you don't hurt, and that maybe it's been a few days since you've thought of him, and you'll smile :)


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