Gf of 10 years cheated and left me. Can't move on.

So I lost the love of my life. In fact she broke things off the day before I planned to propose. Apparently she had been cheating with some guy that she met online. Now fast forward 5 months and she is happy and I am miserable. Tried online dating and I can't even get a first date. I am not sure how to move on, considering that I can't even so much as get a date.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel for you bro sorry to hear but it is time now to start the grieving process.

    The first step is accepting that she is gone and, literally should be thinking good ridden.

    Now hand over all of your thought process and mindsets of what you thought love was. To a higher Power that you trust that He/She/IT has your back. Believe that there is something special in store for your heart in the future.

    So prepare yourself by doing a self inventory of who you are and what you would like to be as a lover and a man.

    Your list aspirations and goals and you work on giving up what stands in your way and what you do that seems counter productive. Such as thinking you need money, or a 4 bedroom house, the right car, or perfect job before you find THE ONE. because that is simple bullshit.

    She left you because she has the issue NOT you. So stop thinking you are not good enough or what if'ing.

    This little inventory which is taxing if you thoroughly do this, is life changing. you will see that once you stop thinking so much and looking , It will fall in your lap. accidentally.

    That is how great love comes, from you just being yourself. without trying. and BOOM you fall in love.

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What Girls Said 7

  • You don't need to date someone else in order to be able to move on. 10 years is a long time and it's not like you can erase those years within just a couple of months. Just give yourself some more time and stop thinking about dating and relationships. Focus on yourself.

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  • shes HAPPY? really? how do you know? first of all when someone does another person "dirty" there's no way they could feel true happiness. YOU on the other hand can feel happy,u did not CHEAT...shes a liar, cheater douche bag living in la la land.You are mourning the end of what you thought was ever after.Dont beat yourself up anymore, lift up your head and breathe,pray and give yourself time to build yourself up again.You wil be stronger in no time and that's when you will meet a great girl.

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  • Don't try dating right now. First, you have to move on and learn to have fun as a single man. When you'll be good about yourself, you will be ready to date again.

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    • This. Don't rush into things, you don't need to date to be happy. Having a meaningful relationship adds to happiness but if there's nothing to add too to begin with you'll likely just both end up being miserable. Dating others when you've still to get over someone is a bad idea.

  • It is a normal thing that you can't move on because you planned to propose and she was the love of your life for 10 years, but I think right now you should just relax and have some time for yourself, wait and be patient and don't search for a relationship until you accept the fact that she lost you/you lost her 100%. I feel bad for you :( but I really wish you good luckkkkk in the future and hopefully you'll find someone who deserves you.

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  • I think sometimes be a single also can have fun.And also girlfriend is not the most important thing in your life, you have many many many other important thing to do so, focus on your study or work, in this process, maybe you will find your true love again.Hope you will cheer up later.

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  • she didn't deserve your love stop wasting your life on her you've wasted enoug of it - she's wasn't worth it - learn from your mistake and move on with someone who is worth it

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  • i just answered a similar question like this.

    I would find what you presume is inadequate about yourself and work on it.

    work on your appearance. try working out more and changing you your current wardrobe. the definition of insanity is doing thr same thing over and over and expecting a different result.My teacher told me that back when I was in highschool and it changed my life entirely. you can't give up on women as a whole because we are not creatures that are made to be alone. I thought I would never find anybody that doesn't just want to hook up and yes I'm still single but that is by choice. I'm not happy with my self entirely and when I was when I was more fit and healthy in my life I couldn't get the guys off my back. so don't get down on yourself. just change your surroundings and daily activities. don't believe that there is no one out there for you cause trust me my friend there is a girl just dying to meet you.



    hope this helps.

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What Guys Said 10

  • https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=arLIoiSgVC4https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=wgpvi83CXjY

    I've recently watched those videos and I find those helpful because I'm also facing the similar situation like you bro

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  • I understand how you feel. And the fact that she's happy and you're miserable would make anyone feel worse.

    Honestly, the very best thing for you is to take a timeout. Your mind isn't right for a relationship, you need to give yourself "time", and no matter what anyone tells you, "time" is the only thing that can heal you.

    You 'will' feel like shit, you're a human and it's what you should 'expect.' Focus on yourself, and come back to the dating scene later.

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  • Major self analysis is in order. You waited at least 6 years too long to propose, maybe 8. She probably felt stuck in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. I can't think of many women who would stick around for ten years without a wedding ring. Figure out why you got yourself in that position. Evaluate your priorities. Then take some time to decompress before looking again.

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    • hey fuck you

      its a question about loyalty. responses like that makes me trust female answers more.

    • Flip the genders and swap marriage for sex. Consider a man that was with a woman for ten years, waiting for sex that she'd never given to him, and then ask why he cheated on her after ten years of waiting without any signs of progress. Most women would call that guy a saint for waiting that long.

  • Join PlentyofFish.com and date as many women as possible til you find one that sets of the buzzers. The only way to get beyond her is to get beyond her.

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    • I don't understand the down votes. POF is actually a good site. I was surprised at the quality of women.

    • Me too! In fact I married one! ; - )

  • First of all ZERO of your value comes from dating or not dating so don't sweat rushing back into dating, it's mostly a crap shoot anyway.

    Allow your self to feel pain and to get angry, if you lash out though be careful not to do anything embarrassing or stupid you will regret later.

    Understand that this sort of bullshit is just a part of life, like it or not BUT all things pass with time.

    When you are good and ready to get back at things just be sure you have learnt from your experience and choose a better type of woman next time unless you want to repeat your mistakes all over again. This will take some serious introspection, it's not easy but worth it.

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  • Are you sure you're emotionally ready to date?...or are you forcing yourself because your ex "seems" happy in a relatuonship right now?

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  • Well your the one who waited ten years to propose she probably just got tired of waiting

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  • Thankfully she confessed early and you decided to propose late. Could you imagine what would have happened if you proposed earlier and she decided to keep her tryst a secret from you? You just saved yourself an unfaithful marriage.

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  • Know how you feel, though it was just 2 years for me, but I don't know why eveyone says stop dating, what saved me was meeting a better girl

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  • Check this out:

    link

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