Most Helpful Girl
I am really sorry for your pain right now.
Honestly, there are 3 things you can do to help this.
1) go out with your friends and keep yourself as busy as possible
2)go out and meet someone new. Only then, you will realize what crap your ex is!
3)try to talk to her and get her back
From what I just read, she is not worth it! She needs to grow up a little. You seem like a great guy that she doesn't deserve! She cheated on you! Not the other way around!
From what it sounds like, you both have a lot of pain inside from the past. She might be so hurt that she cheated? And, you are so hurt because she betrayed you.
I think, you should call her and tell her how you feel. And, maybe tell her you don't want to break up, but that you want time for the both of you to heal and take things slow?
I think, she wants to be with you, but is angry because you maybe agreed to the break up. She seems to be the type to play mind games, and probably wanted you to object to it.
If talking to her doesn't work, and you don't get out much, join a dating website. Even if you aren't into them and not serious. It will be good for you to get attention from someone else even if you don't want it. And, that will keep you more occupied and not feel so much hurt.
HUGS TO YOU! And, I know how much you are hurting! In fact, we all do. We have all been through it. And, sadly, I am sure I will go through it again in my life time. Try to cheer up. Keep busy. And, watch your favorite movies and TV shows and keep busy with your favorite hobbies!
I am here for you if you need someone to talk to.