I ended the relationship...so why do I feel like crap?

This was a long term relationship and everything was good except communication. There was chemistry, shared interests, and a lot of laughter. The problem was it was shallow. He did not allow me to see his emotions and this ,over time, felt like the great barrier reef. We have parted before only to reunite and continue the same old patterns. Can men have long term relationships and simply not care on a deeper level?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You probably feel like crap because you said it was a good relationship overall but you broke it up because of impatience of his stoic demeanor when it comes to emotions.

    Guys are, males, as in different from females. Most guys don't overly communicate their feelings, it's how we're conditioned growing up as males.

    So, in short, you ended a GOOD relationship, got back together, then broke up a GOOD relationship, AGAIN! You broke up a GOOD relationship TWICE!

    That's why you feel like crap.

    • Ouch! Maybe you are onto something...

    • I'm seriously not trying to hurt your feelings, just doing my best to help you better understand men.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I don't understand your logic of thinking. He was a good guy from your accounts, and it was a good relationship. He wasn't comfortable sharing emotions but that doesn't mean he didn't feel them. It wasn't his personality.

    • He actually forgot to tell me he was on two dating sites haha. I just was floored that he had this long term thing with me and was doing that. He never presented to me that this was to be an open relationship...so I kicked him to the curb. Communication is essential even if it hurts to say or hear : (

    • Show All
    • I realize that ...guess the question should be different. The fact does remain that he presents as very nice : ( or did.

    • Short answer...you feel like crap because it's still a loss. IT's a loss to your routine of talking to him which is uncomfortable.

  • You feel like crap, because you still love him.

    That females are more in touch with their emotions, doesn't necessarily mean they handle/know more about their emotions than men do.

    He was on two dating sites? Well was he active on them? Or were they created before you two had something serious going on.

    • He was active : (. He said he only went on two coffee dates...that to me is the same as being slightly pregnant.

    • Ah damn. Well then yea, you were right to stand your ground. I am sorry about that, I had to do the same with my ex :(

      What would you have done if he had ASKED you if he could go for drinks with a girl (just as friends)?

    • If he had been honest and upfront I would have no problem with him socializing with women I am very trusting until I am lied to and then its a deal breaker. You cannot go back and re-earn trust . Lies of omission particularly piss me off because they require intent. : (

  • Zap back in time to when your ex was a boy = Its weak to cry , Boys don't cry , Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about. Showing emotions was dangerous and would attract a beating , so this is the result , not to show emotions . so you know. ;)


What Girls Said 2

  • With my experience with the "quiet ones,' you never know quite what they want, what they mean, nor understand them when they do end up doing the "unthinkable."

    Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. If there is a "gap" there, the relationship then does become shallow, and the only level it ends up on is ---ground level. The bottomless pit.

    Although you had chemistry and shared interests, it still isn't enough to fill the gap. Being this is said, it is better to move on to someone you can have everything with and who can care about you on----deeper level.xx

  • that sucks if he didn't let you see emotion. I ended it as well but it was because there were problems with his family and extensions of, there was way too much chaos and stress. I drifted away and started talking to other guys~

    just if it makes you feel better, list the reasons you don't like about him and then that should reassure you about your choice. that's what I did.I loved my partner too, very sweet, but not what I want.

    I think that we get into trouble when we over analyze. you ask if they don't care? I'm sure he cares, just like mine said he does. I'm definitely not perfect, I'm a bit of a flirt (haha), but it's better to just let it be- some guys are like that and some aren't, but your thing was communication.

    I had great communication with my ex but it fell apart anyways, cause he didn't have any initiative to solve problems. most guys are shallow, now we know what trait to look for the next round

    • Thanks! Sometimes it is just hard to walk away , keeping your back straight, when you feel as if your knees may buckle : )

    • Show All
    • I understand you ladies are looking for 'mr. perfect' who has no flaws.

      Well everyone has their flaws, so you will be searching for a longggg time. Until you understand this.

      I am therefore always great full for what I have, not for what I don't have.


      By the way the funny hypocritical thing here is that your ex (gummybear888) is showing his emotions via Facebook. And it is looked upon as WEAK/UNATTRACTIVE.

      That is EXACTLY why men hide their emotions.

    • Im sorry what about Facebook?