Why do I never hear from any of my exes ever again?

I'm starting to think maybe there's something wrong with me. I always hear of friends or other people whose exes either constantly still texts them or just arrange a friendly catchup every now and then. Maybe my exes are just the type of people who have excellent self control and follow the No Contact rule very closely. But I worry that maybe I was that terrible a girlfriend and they are so glad to get me out of their lives that I just do not hear from them ever again. This thought has really depressed me lately. I have a few friends who are going through break ups right now and they and their exes still seem to irresistibly be tied to each other. I know that being still so tied up with your ex would make it harder to move on and would probably annoying as well, but I sometimes wish my exes cared enough to contact me so much.

Have you ever contacted or purposefully never contacted an ex and why? Is there something wrong with me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I contacted my ex and she didn't respond. Thinking she might not have received it, I contacted her again in a different way, she didn't respond.

    So eventually I gave up. Maybe you ignored him?

    The majority of people think that communicating during a breakup is seen as weak and pointless.

    I think of it as being very strong, you are brave enough to put yourself on the line and get hurt more, to try and fix the problem.

    But most have others lined up immediately after the breakup, so they just see your contacting them as annoying. If this is the case, they probably lost their (strong) feelings for you and don't want to fix the problem. Thus ignore / don't contact you.

    Maybe you are sending out a signal to them that they shouldn't contact you?

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What Guys Said 9

  • There is nothing wrong with you. Don't get depressed over people you broke up with for a reason not talking to you, that's why you break up. Chances are you are just picking the wrongs and mr right hasn't showed up yet. He will and you'll forget about the rest.

    Good luck and keep that head up! :)

    Cgrade

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  • Depends on the ex really. Some I lost touch with, some I had to obey a strict no contact protocol in order to get over them. I wouldn't mind having contact with some of them but I see no reason to either, things took a turn for the worse for good reason. It's definitely not an indicator that there was something wrong with you, it just means something was wrong with the relationship.

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  • Don't think it's you, in my case when I break up with a female, I walk away for good because something in the relationship wasn't working out and to me I don't think that I can even be friends with an ex after a break up.

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  • I only keep in contact with one ex. And we only started talking 20+ years after we broke up.

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  • I currently just got broken up with my girlfriend about 5 weeks ago, the way she did it was really sh***y and now that I've had time to think I've realized that she wasn't worth my time and that I can do a lot better. I mean yeah I still miss her a ton and I think about talking to her sometimes but then again I think what's the point in talking to someone who doesn't want me, and if she really wanted me she would be the one to make contact with me. Did you break up with them or did they break up with you? cause if your the one that broke up with them then its on you to contact them... if its the other way around then they must of moved on and didn't regret the breakup

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  • Really? This is what keeps you up at night?

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  • I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

    An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...

    Breakups happen for a reason...

    I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...

    Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?

    Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

    ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

    This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.

    Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more.

    Your ex is just one in a line of exes you will have in your life. Get used to it.

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  • its hard to remain as friends with an ex

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  • I'm not going to sugar coat it, If they broke up with you then you probably are a terrible girlfriend. If you broke up with them or it was mutual then don't worry about it, you are better off not contacting your exes anyway.

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What Girls Said 4

  • its better to not hear from a ex boyfriend/girlfriend. they r a ex for a reason. it will just mess with your psyche and who needs that? my boyfriend of one year just broke up with me a few weeks ago and I know if he called me now it would just upset me. Time heals all wounds. I am not saying I am over it, but I want to be with someone who wants me back. hope that makes some sence.

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  • i cut off contact with guys after we break up..not that there's anything wrong with them I just don't see why he needs to be in my life or know about it after a relationship.its just awkward

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    • The way I see it. Contact/communication could help fix the breakup.

      If you are 100% sure about not fixing it, then I understand. But then again, how could anyone be 100% sure? Only if someone has someone else lined up immediately afterward. Or if the ex was very mentally/physically abusive.

      If that wasn't the case, why block.

  • there's nothing wrong with not being involved with ex bf's. hell, I've blocked almost all of them on Facebook and changed my phone. why? fresh start.

    maybe we should ask "what the hells wrong with them? for not hanging out with someone awesome like ME?" to me, they miss out.

    I believe in focusing on me. The relationship that fails is because both of us may have been weak and because we're weak as individuals, this failed. I don't know what my ex is doing and I Don't care. But what I can control, is how I grow as an individual.

    yes I admit I think about that jerk sometimes, but I carry on. Don't be depressed. Do something to refresh yourself. I go for long walks, got my hair done, cut/ dyed. etc. whichever .

    good luck and think more positive.

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    • Your opinion is shared by many others, and I just don't get why people think this way. They must not view the situation from the other point of view I guess.

      How can they hang out with you, if you have them blocked? It sends out the signal that you don't want to.

      You grow by walking away from the problem, instead of trying to fix it. I don't see that as growing. It's just continuing life whilst blocking out the 'problem'.

      And a lot of girls call their exes jerks. WHY? They can't all be

    • Show All
    • there are many ways to 'grow'. you don't necessarily have to keep relationships to 'grow'. if you mean emotionally or in terms of "what is good for me" then that's what I mean. many of my ex's want to stay friends,but then you,being aware, might have seen many articles that list a plethora of reasons why NOT to be friends with an ex. And you can choose to be, if you so please.

      But I will tell you, I am strong enough to stand on my own.I don't need a guy for closure or to baby me.I can grow

    • And your last bit, I will recognize when it is beyond repair. If it's beyond repair than a block. sorry I did not emphasize that. I would love to talk to them, with less emotional and drama interference as much as possible- but sometimes it isn't. Feelings get hurt, things are said, Words can hurt. If it was an amicable break up, then it's fine. It isn't the glossy and sparkly ending that I know some people like yourself want, but in some situations clean cut is best anyways

  • I have never purposely contacted any of my exes. If I run into them I'm courteous but that's it.

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