Xwife not wanting me at the daughter's bday?

I'm dating a man who was married with a child. The x wife is older than me but it seems as though she is having issues with me dating her xhusband. I have been wanting to meet the x wife so we can all get on friendly terms since we will be involved with the daughter. The x wife decided that she didn't want to do it but her daughters birthday is coming up. The x wife told my boyfriend that she didn't want me there. I wasn't planning on going but for her to say that months away I feel she is taking it personal. She has said that she has come to terms with her x husband dating but I feel that she really hasn't. I told my boyfriend that if the x wants all of us to be on good terms so the daughter sees everyone is getting along. The xwife is going to have to meet me and start getting to know me.

Am I wrong?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You are not necessarily "wrong" but she doesn't have to abide by your terms, you have to abide by her wishes when dealing with her daughter. Maybe she hasn't come to terms with her ex-husband dating. But regardless, it's her daughter and while your boyfriend may be okay with the daughter meeting you, his ex-wife may not be okay with it, at least not yet.

    These things can be complicated and difficult sometimes. You're dating a man with an ex-wife and a daughter with that ex-wife. You pretty much don't have a say in anything when it comes to the daughter. All you can do is relax, spend time with your boyfriend, and let the ex-wife become more comfortable with the thought of you dating her ex-husband.

    It may take some time but you can't push it or pressure her into letting you into her daughter's life. She should come around eventually but like I said, it's not something you should put pressure on. Some divorced parents are VERY protective when it comes to their children meeting their exes new boyfriends/girlfriends, as they should be.

    • my boyfriend has told me how the introduction of the daughter will go and I'm fine with that. but the ex wife seems to be knit picking on things. I helped by stuff for the daughter for Xmas and I didn't sign my name because the daughter didn't know about me. but all the ex wife said was that did I sign my name. I understand her concern but she also has to trust that her ex husband and I are doing things that are in the best interest of the daughter and not hurt the daughter.

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    • i'm actually meeting he daughter next month. my boyfriend told her about me and she is excited and she had a huge smile on her face.

    • Well that's good. It just may take a little longer for the ex-wife to come around. And like you said, she may not even be comfortable with the idea of him dating again, there's probably a lot going through her mind about it. But, just stay positive and kind of let your boyfriend handle this situation. Try not to get yourself involved in any conflict about it.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You never toyed with the idea maybe it has nothing to do with the husband and rather something to do the daughter? Maybe she just doesn't like the idea of sharing her kids. Can't blame a woman for that.


What Girls Said 1

  • How long have y'all been dating?

    The last thing that needs to be done is for a child to be introduced to a short term girlfriend. My parents divorced and they introduced me to their new bfs/gfs wayyyy too soon.

    • 6 months and the daughter knows about me and is excited to meet me. the x wife knows about me and we tried to do meet in dec she was fine with it. then she decided she couldn't handle it. he got fb and she saw that I was friends with him she said she wished she did look at his fb page. She was the one who wanted the divorce and said that the relationship wasn't able to be saved. I want to establish a relationship with the xwife so that the daughter sees all of us getting along.

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