Do you think I made the right decision?

We dated 7 years and have a 3 year old daughter together. Long story short he started dating the girl he cheated with but I still love him. A few weeks ago he moved all his things out but for some reason brought it back 2 days ago. Yesterday I told him I am not some one you can run to whenever you are having problems and to only contact me about our daughter. Now for some reason half of me is telling me I made the right decision but the other half is telling me that if I really love him I need to act like it and find a way to get him back. I just don't know what it is I should do but I know that I really wants to be with him. Can someone play help me I really don't know what to do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Follow your mind. The question isn't whether or not how you can love him more. Though I can't imagine the pain you must feel, you must ask yourself...How do I love myself?

    If you had a friend in the same position, and she ends up trying to get back with him, couple months later he cheats again, or even does things that hurt her. Yet she keeps going back. Because you love your friend, you'll make sure she isn't self deprecating herself, settling, making sure she's doing the steps to recover after break ups. Taking her out, even a girls night, meeting new people. Shopping & pampering. Making her feel like she is worth something very special and deserves that as well. Do that for yourself.

    You guys have a daughter together, he's been the father, the boyfriend, but the day he made the conscious decisions to commit infidelity, he also made a decision to turn his back on his family. And then to reject responsibility and the consequences. Yes, he's going back and forth, perhaps guilt? Looking further out, he lacks clarity. for now, I suggest letting time be the decider , be friends, let him grow more and be ready for you. Legally, you cannot deny him rights to his daughter unless you take it to the courts. So that is unreasonable.

    In the meanwhile, focus on you and your precious daughter. Live your life, forgive him, do things that will make you feel good. Yeah, some days will be rough, self-doubt /hate, nursing all the dark thoughts to dawn...but then you wake up and see that your're sitll alive, your daughter loves you, and the immense possibilities out there for you to take..there are so many people out there, if you build the courage, date often, some will fail, then one day you'll meet that one guy who fits you perfectly.

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What Guys Said 1

  • There is zero reason to take back a "man' who cheated on you and abandons his child. You can do better.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Simple question. Do you love him or do you love yourself more. Do you want to waste time on a guy who doesn't love and respect you enough to not only cheat on you but worse, move out with the woman he cheated with? Its OK to love him but talking out of my own experience as someone who has loved quite a few times different men, your heart can heal and he won't be your last love. Fortunately that whole soulmates and my only love is complete shit. You made the right choice to get rid of him... you made the wrong choice to allow him to come back just like that. He doesn't deserve you period.

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  • :( I'm sorry that this happened. Unless he comes to you apologizing, I wouldn't take him back.. And I know that you miss him and feel lonely and heartbroken, but cheating is something that happens more than once, it's a behavior that doesn't just go away. We all want to forgive the people we love, but sometimes it's not the best thing for us. It might be better that, even if he apologizes and tries to come back, you tell him no and send him away. And I know you have a child together, but as a child who grew up with two very unhappy parents, you're not doing her any favors by staying with him. I think you did the right thing, you shouldn't be with someone who disrespects you, or makes you feel this way, and your daughter shouldn't be around someone who doesn't put her first.

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