We dated 7 years and have a 3 year old daughter together. Long story short he started dating the girl he cheated with but I still love him. A few weeks ago he moved all his things out but for some reason brought it back 2 days ago. Yesterday I told him I am not some one you can run to whenever you are having problems and to only contact me about our daughter. Now for some reason half of me is telling me I made the right decision but the other half is telling me that if I really love him I need to act like it and find a way to get him back. I just don't know what it is I should do but I know that I really wants to be with him. Can someone play help me I really don't know what to do.
Most Helpful Girl
Follow your mind. The question isn't whether or not how you can love him more. Though I can't imagine the pain you must feel, you must ask yourself...How do I love myself?
If you had a friend in the same position, and she ends up trying to get back with him, couple months later he cheats again, or even does things that hurt her. Yet she keeps going back. Because you love your friend, you'll make sure she isn't self deprecating herself, settling, making sure she's doing the steps to recover after break ups. Taking her out, even a girls night, meeting new people. Shopping & pampering. Making her feel like she is worth something very special and deserves that as well. Do that for yourself.
You guys have a daughter together, he's been the father, the boyfriend, but the day he made the conscious decisions to commit infidelity, he also made a decision to turn his back on his family. And then to reject responsibility and the consequences. Yes, he's going back and forth, perhaps guilt? Looking further out, he lacks clarity. for now, I suggest letting time be the decider , be friends, let him grow more and be ready for you. Legally, you cannot deny him rights to his daughter unless you take it to the courts. So that is unreasonable.
In the meanwhile, focus on you and your precious daughter. Live your life, forgive him, do things that will make you feel good. Yeah, some days will be rough, self-doubt /hate, nursing all the dark thoughts to dawn...but then you wake up and see that your're sitll alive, your daughter loves you, and the immense possibilities out there for you to take..there are so many people out there, if you build the courage, date often, some will fail, then one day you'll meet that one guy who fits you perfectly.