We never text each other or call each other. We only talk in person which leaves me happier inside when we banter and laugh like we use to, and occasionally we stare into each others eyes for a good 3-4 seconds (he normally looks down afterwards) or I see his smile. It's hard to describe, but it's been a while since I've seen that particular smile on his face. (then there are times where he asks what's wrong, or why I am acting shy/quiet. I just shrug because it's not something that anyone has asked me before.)
When he broke up with me he said, "I care about you a lot, but the way things we're doing will not only hurt us, but our families as well,"
Coincidentally he is a religious man and one of the many things I liked about him were his principles. We didn't lose our virginity because well we both don't like the idea of sex before marriage. We felt each other numerous times where it came close to actual sex.
He stated he felt he loved the physical things more than the emotional part of the relationship. And I took it upon myself to not talk to him for a while to give us space in addition to do what seemed like what was best for both of us.
The last thing he's said during the break up that I recall, and maybe wasn't the best thing to ask was how he felt about it which was, "like someone stabbed me in the heart. I know I have to take it out even though it will hurt more when I do."
That last phrase always gets to me and from time to time I want to know if he's doing well, but its either I am nervous or it isn't the right time because we only ever see each other on the city bus.
I would love to ask him to lunch, to you know build a stronger friendship. Although I cannot really muster up the words. I'm considering to ask him the week after Valentine's Day.