Feeling confused and I want some input, both guys and girls please?

It seems like recently an ex and I have been getting close again, at the same time I don't want to misinterpret it.

We never text each other or call each other. We only talk in person which leaves me happier inside when we banter and laugh like we use to, and occasionally we stare into each others eyes for a good 3-4 seconds (he normally looks down afterwards) or I see his smile. It's hard to describe, but it's been a while since I've seen that particular smile on his face. (then there are times where he asks what's wrong, or why I am acting shy/quiet. I just shrug because it's not something that anyone has asked me before.)

When he broke up with me he said, "I care about you a lot, but the way things we're doing will not only hurt us, but our families as well,"

Coincidentally he is a religious man and one of the many things I liked about him were his principles. We didn't lose our virginity because well we both don't like the idea of sex before marriage. We felt each other numerous times where it came close to actual sex.

He stated he felt he loved the physical things more than the emotional part of the relationship. And I took it upon myself to not talk to him for a while to give us space in addition to do what seemed like what was best for both of us.

The last thing he's said during the break up that I recall, and maybe wasn't the best thing to ask was how he felt about it which was, "like someone stabbed me in the heart. I know I have to take it out even though it will hurt more when I do."

That last phrase always gets to me and from time to time I want to know if he's doing well, but its either I am nervous or it isn't the right time because we only ever see each other on the city bus.

I would love to ask him to lunch, to you know build a stronger friendship. Although I cannot really muster up the words. I'm considering to ask him the week after Valentine's Day.

Valentines Day

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What Guys Said 2

  • Muster up the words. He is a sensitive, honorable man. How many men are like this out there? You will regret it for the rest of your life if he finds someone else. Continue in the tradition of not having sex, save it for marriage.

    I hope he learns to open his heart up to you, and you, to him.

    • I tried, and the scenario is in the reply to stubbsy's answer. I feel maybe it's as we'll to just leave him be until we see each other again. I really do want to tell him how I feel, however I don't believe now is the time.

  • A good way to ask someone out is to make it at first, a coffee. This is so inpersonal and something a lot of people do, it could be taken as innocently as it sounds, so just say to him, "we should grab a coffee sometime soon/later/now whatever suits you, but his response will usually tell you how he has taken that invite, and the things you talk about will determine the outcome, good luck,x

    • Tried and well, he never said yes or no. He was polite enough to respond quickly, more than he usually would. He just said he was busy and we talked about where. He does have school to work on as do I. Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable actually hanging out yet or found someone else maybe. I feel as though I am thinking way too deep into this.

    • Sounds like he's a little reserved. The next time you get an opportunity to ask again, just say, how about that coffee then, if he replies the same, just take control and say, "its only coffee, I promise I won't bite, but make it as a jest kinda way, because this will ease his nerves, but it doesn't sound like he is dis interested,x

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Valentines Day