About a month ago, my (ex) boyfriend of a year dumped me. I was so in love with him and I would've done anything for him. He dumped me because he was "tired of hurting me" and "only saw me as a friend" and "wanted to be single". He didn't treat me very well when we were together...he wasn't romantic with me, pushed me away a lot when I tried to hug him, didn't get me anything on my birthday, didn't express his feelings, etc. It got to the point where our friends would actually comment at how he wasn't treating me right. I was depressed and cried a lot during our relationship, wondering if he even loved me. When he dumped me I was very sad but soon felt liberated because I no longer had to feel depressed about a guy all the time. I was doing really well until the other night, when he showed up to a party I was at and all the old feelings I had came rushing back and I ended up missing him and I cried that night.
Well I also have been talking to a guy for a while, who is really into me. He texts me almost every night. We never run out of things to talk about, we are both majoring in music and we are both into art and he is very intelligent and creative. I feel very comfortable and safe with him. We went on our first date last week and it went really well. He is more mature than my ex and he has 2 jobs and he is super nice and positive. He's 21 and my ex was 16 (I'm 18). I told him that I'm scared to fall for someone again and he said he understands and he is taking it slow with me so we are only dating right now. But I haven't told him anything about my ex. I honestly feel like I'm falling for this guy and I know he is falling for me too (he writes me love poems and stuff like that) and I know if we were together he would treat me really well, he's already treating me better than my ex did and we aren't even together yet.
I really want to completely move on and only focus on this new guy. But the way I felt when I saw my ex was scary and I don't think it's fair to this new guy if I'm not over my ex yet. But when I don't see my ex I hardly even think about him, so I can't tell if I'm over him or not. Does it sound like I'm over him or not? What should I do with the new guy I'm falling for? Thank you
Most Helpful Guy
The only way you are going to move on is to date new guys; date this new guy. Will seeing your ex bring old feelings? Yes, because you were burned and hurt badly. However, you have to remind yourself that this is a different guy. He deserves a chance to prove himself. You shouldn't old shit is going to happen in a new relationship. Everything man is different in some ways. Let go of the past and don't worry about it. If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. Remember, you are independent, strong woman and you don't take shit from nobody.1