i was dating this guy off and on for over a year. he was always the one who would end things with me and I would always chase after him hoping to work things out with him and was always upfront and honest with my feelings towards him. I really did love him.
a month and a half ago we got into a nasty fight and he ended things with me and said to cut all communication ties with him. finally being mentally drained from the relationship and extremely heartbroken I immediately went into nc and removed him from social networks as well to help me move on.
during that time of nc I have been having a lot of family problems and personal issues. I took a break from college to help my family out and I'm working on my own personal issues and trying to work on my myself and get my life back in order. I fell off the grid with a lot of my friends because I'm going through a hard time right now.. I'm not trying to be selfish, immature or inconsiderate of their feelings its just I need to take care of my personal business first and don't really feel like opening up to anyone about it until I'm ready.
im usually a very social person and have a lot friends.. and this is frist time I ever acted like this.. so a lot of people are confused over it. but I just need this time to detach myself and be alone for right now and work on myself.
my ex and I have a lot of mutual friends.. so its no surprise that he heard from the grapevine about me 'falling off the grid' recently.
he contacted me the other day saying that everyone was worried about me and to please let everyone know that I'm okay. and that he hopes that I'm okay.
i don't know if he's actually worried about me or just putting up a front in front of our friends to make it seem like he cares.
or maybe he's sick of people talking about me and the way I just disappeared on everyone and that their worried.
honestly I would open up to him because he was my best friend and good friend to me before we ever dated. and I still have feelings for him... but I'm afraid to reopen myself to him when I don't know his true intentions.
either way I didn't reply back to him and kept to nc even though it was extremely hard.
so what do any of you think? advice?
Most Helpful Girl
He is obviously concerned you have "fallen off the grid," is why he is now communicating with you after everything. But if you are going through a hard time right now, and I am so sorry to see that you are down on your luck, the First thing You need to do is Distant yourself from him, as far as contact goes. At least for the time being. This, in turn, will help you to lick your wounds faster and get back to your old self again with not only Your well being at heart, but with your friends as well.
I realize you have mutual friends, which makes this even harder, but perhaps you could hang with 'other friends" that only you have put aside. Perhaps a special girl friend, someone to help you reunite with your detached self right now, and bring you back to the strong and considerate girl you once were. I'm not saying to snub the other ones, but they are constant reminders of him, which can be hard, leaving you between a rock and a hard place. Just go slow with them as well.
Time does heal all wounds, as I have found. But in This Time, don't give your ex---nor the common factors you both still share---any more worries nor---anymore need to talk about you behind your back. And especially, Don't give Him a reason to "reopen anything." You are going to end up hurt again. He's more than likely just being this friend zone, and it is just going to stir up old memories. Even the sound of his voice would be enough to keep the faucets running and the fires burning inside. You need time alone for awhile as well, but more importantly, time away from him.
"No regrets in life, just lessons learned," as they say.xx0