I see closure as getting everything off your chest by talking with the other one, explaining yourselfs as 2 grown-ups. No harsh words, no insults, no blaiming, BUT rather trying to figure out where it went wrong.
BUT I can't get mine since the girl refused to talk. So we basically parted and that's it. No contact for MONTHS and I'm still in pain as I don't understand what happened where it went wrong.
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closure is interesting in that for some people closure really means different things.
OFten times it isn't really about finding out what went wrong, but what was/is wrong at time of the break up and that being the necessary closure to the relationship
Your situation seems odd because it sounds like you don't know why the relationship ended... is that right? Like one day she just broke up with you?
Closure for some people can be positive as in it can clear up ambiguity whereas for others closure can be negative because it can force the person to deal and confront the decision, reason, etc so avoiding closure can be a way of avoiding confrontation or dispute...
so I guess what you need to really ask yourself is; do you have absolutely no clue why the break up happened? If you don't then maybe write a letter. simply stating that you are really confused why the relationship ended. I think, however, through some reflection you can probably glean some answers.0