How do you feel about contacting ex partners from a long time ago to make closure in a peaceful way, long after the relationship ended?
An old girlfriend I hadn't heard from in 6 years called and left a voice message for me one day. I was shocked to hear her voice. We had a bad falling out many years ago and nasty things were said. It took me a couple days to think about it, but I returned her call and she was thrilled to hear back from me. We had a good talk, and although we had gone our separate ways for good, I'm glad we made closure.
This makes me want to reach out and contact another girlfriend I had who I still had feelings for long after the nasty break-up. Some told me this girl actually regretted breaking up with me the way she did way back when.
Problem is I fear I might tear open healed wounds by contacting her again. That was part of the reason it took me a few days to think a about returning the other girl's phonecall.
How would you feel if an ex contacted you for closure a long time after the break-up?
Most Helpful Girl
I used to fight and fight for closure immediately after breakups which of course never went well, but after a long amount of time, if the wounds are genuinely healed, a simple conversation isn't going to rip them open again. I had a very tumultous breakup years ago and had to contact ex about a practical matter, and his shitty response just sort of ruined my day but that was it. I don't have any lack of closure I just hate him lol.
I've had two guys contact me years later and apologize for disappearing or being a dick or whatever, and by then it just felt really nice. I was beyond over it so there was just one little conversation and that was it. I'm sure they may have worried that I was going to try to get them back or something but that wasn't even an issue.
I think it depends, if you are looking to get any kind of apology or explanation FROM her you're starting a tense discussion and that also means you're not completely healed (because you're still hurting and needing something to feel better about the breakup). If you're looking to GIVE an apology or explanation, then unless she's a complete sociopath I can't see it going horribly, and you'll feel better. I've felt better when I've apologized, whether or not they accept it. But again, if you're trying to get an explanation etc from her be prepared for it to not go well, she could get defensive, deny regretting stuff, or who knows what else. Do your best to put yourself in the calmest undramatic state of mind before talking to her, and if it does start to get argumentative or anything, simply refuse to play into it. Good luck!2