Cheated on my boyfriend...but I need to talk to the other guy?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. My family loves him and he's been great to me. He's not the emotional type like I am, so it affects my insecurities for some time. For the first year, he's been very controlling towards me. He found it hard to forgive my past and I accepted that as my punishment.

Recently, I found myself very attracted to my group member in one of my classes. I'm not the flirty type but I enjoyed his flirting with me despite the fact he also has a girlfriend. 3 weeks in, my group mates and I went out for drinks. I sat away from him because the other day, I did tell him he shouldn't flirt with me. Unfortunately, I had far too much to drink (4 glasses of red wine). My memory is still a blur but I know we made out and had sex. I don't want to blame it on the alcohol because he had been the object of my desires for a while.

He feels completely guilty and I do too. I haven't slept a full night without waking up sweating with broken fragments of what had happened. I can't tell my boyfriend because he's so angry and vindictive that I didn't tell him I went out (he doesn''t know who I was with). It's been 4 days, the guy hasn't talked to me. He said he promises we'll talk more and get through this like adults. I haven't told anyone and I'm so angry at him.

I don't know if I should text him how I feel (about how angry and broken I am; I don't like him like that anymore) because I'm afraid to tell someone about what I did. I don't want to push him away with my constant texts, because we really need to talk about this. Despite how horrible I feel, I want to help him out with his guilt too. I know I should tell my boyfriend but I can't because I know how he is.

I'm not asking if I should tell my boyfriend, but I want to know from a guy's perspective, what is going on in his (the other guy) mind in a situation like this? Will he run away? Does he need space to clear his head? Is he afraid to talk to me?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • So why cheat on someone that all the family like unless he was either not satisfying you sexually, you were not satisfying him, or you just like cock, if none of them, WHY SCREW ANOTHER BLOKE, and how guilty did it feel after he had sex with you, did you do anything sexy that you would not do with your main man, like anal, deep throat ect, what was the buzz, and pls not Anne summers lol


What Girls Said 1

  • He's probably experiencing similar emotions as you are in regards to his Girlfriend and his relationship. He's ashamed of his actions as well as you are. He is probably trying to figure out the best way to proceed and is going with no contact with you, until he figures out what that best way is.