Make or brake advice.

Well I need some advice my partner and I don't live together but have bn dating for 8yrs. We have bn trying for a baby for 4 years on and off now. Last wk he said his mate was having some problems and is coming to stay for a few days. His mate now tells me 2 wks later he is moving in. I spoke to my boyfriend last night and told him I won't to have a baby and to live together as I get fustrated with nothing happening. I feel like I'm wasting time and he said it will happen when it happens and I can move in too if I wanted too.My point is I'm sick of living alone and feeling used when we have sex as I have to leave and see him days or wks later even tho we are trying to concieve. I just want things to progress and there not. What should I do? I've already spoke to him Because I was so upset. What shld I do now? Shld I continue trying or find someone who wants to actually be with me more. I really love my boyfriend tho.

Thanks for you answer, one part wants to stay the other says its bn too long and I don't want to leave but I don't want to be waiting around for another 5 years either. I'm 5 years older than him too so it natural for me to want kids at this point. See what happens. He nows exactly how I feel so that's good I guess.


Most Helpful Guy

  • it's really odd that you guys have been together for 8yrs and haven't lived together and only see each other every few weeks. to me this shows a lack of commitment.

    It is also strange that you two would be trying to have a baby without living together or getting married. It seems like steps are being skipped.

    I think the relationship needs to take a few steps forward before you really even try to get pregnant with his child. you two should be seeing each other more often, you should really consider whether or not marriage is the next step and at least whether or not you two should live together.

    In America in most states that have common law marriage statutes the two of you would almost be considered married by the government. I say this to say that you two really should be coming to some point in deciding whether or not you are going to spend your lives together and take steps towards that goal


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's kinda odd to me that you guys see each other so infrequently. Are there extenuating circumstances that cause this? Do you guys live far apart? I'm not judging, but something seems off to me based on your question. If I was actively trying to conceive with my woman the relationship would be so close knit that I'd at the very least see her a few days per week.

    • He works 12hr days and I work shift work. Should I just getvanother boyfriend and move on easier said than done.

    • Oh man, that's really not a question that anyone can definitively answer. I would advise you to not consider the longevity of the relationship (I think too many people fall into that trap of "well we've been together for this long, might as well stick around") but rather how you feel and what is genuinely best for you. It sounds like you love him, and if he loves you too then maybe it can be worked on. I think you need to decide what has to change in order for this relationship to work for you,

    • (cont.) and then see what he's willing to do to make that happen.

What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like he is inconsiderate. I f I were you, I would probably just move on unless he works on changing things.