I don't trust my boyfriend what should I do? I'm afraid to lose him. pls help.

We are in a 2 yrs. And half relationship.. But I feel like his lying sometimes but I don't find any evidence he's cheating just don't trust him don't think my instinct is right but I'm not comfortable I don't know why I'm always worried all the time he said I should change my attitude so jealous and I think I'm obsessed go crazy he said he was suffocated and I need to adjustment its hard for Med you think he really loves me?im afraid he will leave me soon alone :(


Most Helpful Girl

  • He went straight out to tell you: you need to change your way of thinking or you're going to lose this guy. Metaphorically speaking, you are drowning, but struggling and yelling so hard that no one can hold on to or get through to you, because you keep thrashing around. You know that scene in Harry Potter where Ron keeps yelling and struggling in that plant thing, but because Harry and Hermione calm down and relax, the plant lets them go? You are Ron right now.

    So let me ask you: what is the WORST thing that could possibly happen to you?

    1) Your boyfriend could dump you, because he feels smothered.

    2) Your closest family members could die from a medical condition.

    3) A younger sibling could commit suicide.

    4) Your house could burn down.

    5) Your family could go bankrupt.

    6) You could get out into the real world and realize that you haven't worked hard enough in school, so the only jobs available are humbling and pay very little.

    7) You could be severely injured in a car accident, so you'll never walk again.

    8) You could have some kind of accident that severely deforms your face.

    9) You could die, go to hell, and realize that your focus in life was completely off.

    10) The list goes on.

    A lot can happen in life, but the key is to focus on what's actually happening, continue to think and act rationally in spite of what's happening, and know that being logical DOES pay off.

    Why does it matter so much if he's lying? That reflects more on his character than yours. Why does it matter if he's cheating? You could always find another boyfriend. Don't say "no, he's special, and no one would like me", because no matter how mean/ugly/stupid you are, there is always going to be someone who wants to date you. That's just a fact of life. Moreover, dating is a skill! You could learn how to do it better, practice, and be a natural at picking up guys...just like playing sports or doing math. Moreover, do you NEED to be in a relationship to be happy?

    Life will go on whether you do or do not stay with this dude. He is not the be all and end all of your existence. You should never make ANYONE responsible for all the happiness in your life, regardless of if you're dating/married to them. YOU are responsible.

    Don't worry about him leaving/cheating/lying, because hey: that is NOT the worst thing in the world. You need to find some new life passions that can turn into hobbies and enrich you. Read more books! Start with Dale Carnegie and C.S. Lewis. Do some math/science: nothing brings you back to earth quite as fast as doing math/science.

    Bottom line:

    Quit Feeling

    Start Thinking

    • thank you so much :)

    • This was not my topic, but i have been feeling very similar to this girl, since giving birth 3 months ago. I just want to thankyou for this comment, as it has helped open my eyes. (again) I forgot how wonderful it is to be responsible for my own happiness! I have been spending way too much time hoping my partner could lift my spirits, when in reality, i need to be doing this. So thankyou! Im taking a screenshot of this, so i always have it!

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What Guys Said 3

  • i've learned that your gut is right 85% of the time. buuuut, it depends on the person. has he cheated on you before or is this the first time? me and my girl have both cheated. the one thing I would say is to tell your boyfriend how you feel whether it works or not. at the same time tho, it sucks being accused... mm blah

    • hes a flirt.. I never saw him cheated but right now I feel there's something wrong.

  • If you don't trust him, you need to change your behavior or break up. Your jealousy will push him away soon anyway.

  • a relationship without trust is like trying to breath underwater

    if you don't trust him you either need to figure out a way to do so or end the relationship because you will destroy it if you can't resolve your trust issues.

    i think a first step for you is to figure out how you came about these trust issues. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend does anything to cause oyu distrust so where does the lack of trust come from? Past relationship, witnessing bad relationships, etc. maybe figuring out the source of the distrust will help you figure out how to work through the distrust


What Girls Said 2

  • I don't trust my boyfriend too because I trusted him before but he broke my trust on him.

    I think you should try to trust him if nothing happen, give a try, try to control yourself or your thought, change the way how you talk to him then maybe it will be better

  • Why are you jealous in the first place? because he has a lot of female friends?


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