Not so easy break up, what should I do now? ladies, your opinion?

Quite a complicated story, but I had dated a gal off and on for over a year. The first time we tried, it was long distance, since she lived in my home town two hours away. The distance itself made it difficult and our friendship fizzled out after six months.

We hooked up a couple times afterward, but yet again, more frustration and heartache. This time, I had a feeling her ex of five years was somewhere in the background, as she started talking about him more and more. She ended up rooming with his brother, whom she said was good friends with. This I wasn't comfortable with, so I left the picture once again.

4 months goes by without any contact, and by this time, I've moved back home. I broke the ice, and we started talkng again. We hung out for a good month and I got nothig but good vibes from her. She even asked me if I saw a future with her and I said yes. Hey why not give it a shot? I ended up leaving town for work for a week, and she started acting distant. Tried calling and sending a few texts, but got nothing but boring responses. I sensed something was wrong. I got back hime and had to remind her of plans we made, and she accused me of making a big deal out of it and throwing a fit, like I've done in the past apparently. These "fits" come from these mixed signals she's given me in the past. This recent miscommunication was the deal breaker and now she wants nothing to do with me.

Ok, a few weeks have passed and still no communication. A few attempts at talking to her have failed and all she kept saying was that she wasn't feeling anything for me. Really don't undrstand her logic. It sounds like there's more to it than that. Do I give ger space and let her come to me, or just walk away? I don't know what to think. Please help!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • give her space. she sounds like she's rather hot and cold and in turn you ask for more because you want, when she's acting cold and distant, to know that she has the feelings you seem to have for her.

    but at some point the feelings have to just be there without any provocation. At this point I'd essentially cut the cords. It sounds like she's the type of person to be all in for something at first but slowly pull away...that doesn't sound like the greatest situation for a relationship.

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    • Youre absolutely right about the hot and cold behavior. She's acted that way in the past. She would be hot all over me and once I got too close to her, she would cool off. Idk, I honestly think she's damaged goods. She's obviously afraid of something and maybe this was her escape goat once things started getting serious again. I will follow your advice and go from there I guess. If she wants me back, she's gonna have to work for it!

    • yeah. some people sort of like the thrill of the chase or have some sort of commitment anxiety. so they may be fine to build a bridge to a certain point but actually seem to run from any real connection... her loss frankly.

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What Girls Said 5

  • It sounds like she isn't really sure what she wants right now and your best option would be to walk away. It honestly sounds like a lot more trouble than it's worth. You've given it several tries and something is obviously just not clicking with you guys... You're cute, you will find someone. Even if it's just someone to have fun with in the mean time.

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  • Dude. Walk. Away. You should have walked the first time it didn't work out. Maybe even the second when she went back to her ex. Clearly she isn't ready for what you have in mind. There isn't anything you can do for that.

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  • Just walk away. I have learned that if someone really likes you they will not give you mixed signals/messages. You're just stressing yourself to the point where you are stressed out and from what you wrote, she could care less.

    Now pick yourself up, and show her that you don't need her. Show her that you deserve respect (within reasonable means).

    Good luck and take care.

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  • Don't even worry about her anymore. Sounds to me like she has a lot of baggage from her past that she has yet to get rid of. She will just repeatedly keep doing the same to you and other guys, only wanting them when she wants them and when its convienient to her. It isn't worth it and you deserve someone who really does want to be in your future for good.

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  • Yea if the conversation has died she is probably not interested. Therefore I would just move on and not contact her again. There are plenty of fish in the sea

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What Guys Said 0

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