Is it a bad thing that I still think about her?

There's a girl who I constantly keep thinking of. Just a friend, kinda. We met through a volunteer thing about 8 years ago and we volunteer there every year (it's a week long camp thing).

I've had a 'crush' (I know it's not the most appropriate term for a guy in his 20s to use but eh) since I first met her. At first, I was able to talk to her with no problem. But as the years went by and I saw her, I grew more and more shy and rarely talked to her.

We've talked briefly every once in a while but on social media, which sadly is when I'm confident enough to talk to her.

However, even though I haven't talked to her in several months, I still think about her. I originally invited her about 4 months ago to have lunch but because of our conflicting schedules, it never happened.

I've been wanting to say something but I feel like I'd just be a 'creep' if I tried to reignite things (for lack of a better word) with her after so long. She is single, I know this. But still busy.

Is it a bad thing that I still think about her after all this time? I'm not obsessed with her as I don't think about her 24/7 and I don't turn down other women because of her. Every time I see her name pop up on social media or I see her name (it's kinda a rare first name), she immediately comes to mind.

Thanks for the advice.

I would love to ask her out (and get the courage to do so lol) but like I said, I invited her to lunch a few months ago and she did agree but because she was busy, it never happened and I kinda just lost touch with her shortly after. I know for a fact she's still busy with nursing school and I'm busy with a full time job and school now so I'm sure you can imagine how much of a conflict it'll be to find a time to meet, if the opportunity ever presented itself. TBC..
I feel if I tried to ask her again, it would make me look desperate. Speaking from experience, this is what drives my crushes away and ruins things before anything began.

I'm just putting myself in her shoes. But I'm not a girl so I don't know everything lol.

So yeah, I hope you understand where I'm coming from. I REALLY do hope to make something happen, I just don't want to go the wrong way about it, if that makes any sense.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Go ahead and ask her out, give her two options put yourself out there woman do like to be pursued in the right way. If she doesn't give you a direct response move on because you tried. You don't have anything to lose. And besides this will help clarify where you stand with her so you can move forward. Don't stay stuck.

    • Thank you for the answer. :)

      What exactly is the 'right way'? I've never pursued women really. The only two girls I've asked out where ones I had known through mutual social groups. And the other couple, it just happened (we were friends).

      As for asking her out, I don't have the opportunity to do so until the volunteer event which takes place in July. She's busy with school right now and is rarely on social media so I can't ask that way.

    • Send her a private message on social media, usually these messages get sent to their email. Do you guys have any mutual friends through social media? Just be direct, "I enjoyed seeing at the last volunteer event and wanted to know if you might be available to talk? In terms of a date since you enjoy volunteerism you could ask to attend a different event with you. Or find a casual upcoming event some place that is fluid and open not so face to face. Looking at your city upcoming events online.

    • Yeah, we have a couple of mutual friends although they aren't my friends, just friends I've meet at the same place.

      But I will definitely keep those things in mind. Thanks.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I agree, ask her out, tell her that you'd like to have the chance to catch up with her and take her out to lunch. Go for it, what do you have to lose? ... Nothing, that's what. So roll your shoulders back, smile and do it! Life is too short.

    • Yeah, life is too short. I remind myself of that everyday but still isn't enough of a kick in the butt to do anything unfortunately lol.

    • You'll never now unless you give it a try. I know that you're nervous about it and everything but see what happens.

What Guys Said 1

  • No it is not a bad thing. As long as you aren't obsessed (as you said you aren't) and don't let it affect your life or actions negatively, thinking of someone you like, even if you barely see/know them, seems pretty normal.