Crying over my ex girlfriend 2 months on?

I know, it's silly, why would a 19 year old cry over some girl - it's such as girl thing to do ... but, it's been uncontrollable.

She broke up with me because of me: I took out my anger I had for my ex friend on her and said things I never meant. I was infuriated with my ex friend because he was racist to a close friend of mine.

During the first 4 weeks after the BU, I caught her staring at me and looking away immediately a few times, and so did my friends.

I cut contact with her immediately, expecting to get over her in a month or so. It's been 2 and I seriously, seriously can't stop thinking about her.

I've tried everything, NC, dating other girls, taking time off the dating scene, sports, etc ... NOTHING has worked.

Our relationship was short (1 month or so) but VERY intense.

2 weeks before we broke up she had invited me over to meet her parents over dinner. She left for the loo and her parents told me how much she would talk about me and how they thought that she had seriously fallen for me.

Christmas period was terrible for me for two reasons:

1. I was thinking about her so much (you already know that).

2. On the 13 th of December I was attacked my ex friend for no reason whatsoever. After a night out he had sprayed me with deodorant and a lighter right at my face. I hit him in self defence.

I learnt quite recently that he'd lied to every one in my old dorm (I've moved since then) including my ex who believes him (they're "great" friends now).

I texted her asking why she disliked me so much and wouldn't talk to me and she said "Because you hit him [ex friend] when he asked you to leave" which is the BIG LIE.

I don't know what to do. I obviously still love my ex ... I want her back. She's showed me signs she at least misses me.

What do I do?

I acknowledge the people telling me to move on and all, but my guessing work has been doing good so far, so I'm going to stick to this until it's crystal clear there's nothing in this.

Oh ... for the record: She just sent me a message saying "(my name) I heard what really happened, we can have a chat on Monday" ...


Most Helpful Guy

  • ask her to meet you for lunch somewhere. probably a public place so she doesn't feel awkward. tell her you just want to talk. that there are things you really think need to be cleared up and a lot of misinformation being spread.

    hopefully she will be up for this and you can sort of have a calm, rational conversation about things. tell her the way you've been feeling, how things with your "ex-friend" really went down.

    however, if she doesn't want to meet up or doesn't want to talk then you just kind of have to move forward. being upset and crying over a girl isn't a "girl" thing to do it's the kidn of thing a person does when they are upset over losing something. it's just called having emotions. If she won't talk/meet with you, you'll just kind of have to accep that there will be a bit of a tough time going forward but you'll get over her

    • I texted her asking why she dislikes me so much and she just said "Because you hit him after he asked you to leave his room" ... this is the big lie he's been telling not only her, but all my friends.

      I'm sure the truth will be out soon anyway, and she'll soon come to realize how much of a phoney little c**t my ex friend really is.

    • texting doesn't allow for honest and productive back and forth. not the way actually talking to a person face to face can

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What Girls Said 2

  • You need to move on, dude. She doesn't trust you.

    She chose to side with someone else over you, which means she trusts other peoples' word over yours. Do you really want to be with someone like that? What's going to happen, when you get blamed for something more severe, than that? Chances are, she'll believe everyone else, except you.

    And the "stares" you're talking about? Grow up, love, real life is not the movies. She may stare, because she is reminiscing about the good times you had together, but that doesn't mean she wants you back.

    • And why do you think she doesn't trust me? You don't need to be Einstein - I'm her ex! Tadaah.

      She chose to side with him because they are FRIENDS, and that's what friends do, isn't it.

      What my ex friend did, was quite severe actually. It's assault and battery, which is a criminal offence. As soon as people, not just her, find out about it they'll lose their trust in him.

      "Real life is not the movies", thanks for pointing that out, I never knew that...

      She stares A LOT.

    • Show All
    • What does my age have to do with your inability to take criticism?

      "The sort of twee person who thinks swearing is in any way a sign of a lack of education or a lack of verbal interest is just a fucking lunatic.”

      Stephen Fry

      But do continue with the personal insults, that definitely doesn't make you look like you have anger issues.

    • Way to blow it out the water lol

      Just shows how truly immature you are, doesn't it? Did you read what I put at the end of my last answer? I told you NOT to bother answering it ... yet you do, which tells me a lot.

      I used to have anger issues, I use to use violence as a solution, but I've come a long way from it - I'm not afraid to speak of it. I've grown up - so should you. I'm sick and tired of this to-and-fro.

      Either we leave it at this, or we can do it the hard way - your choice.

  • Tell her what actually happened with the neighbour trying to set you on fire. you might be able to get her back.

    • I told her about it but she's sided with my ex friend, presumably because they are good friend - which is understandable.

      I'm just hoping that word will go around about how my ex friend lied to her and the rest of her friends + many other people in the block.

    • How do you think I should go about this?

What Guys Said 1

  • It seems she made the choice and is siding with your ex friend. Understand that she's not all those things your brain is telling you. Move on.

    • Just think about it a little closely. Obviously she's going "side" with my ex friend. A) Because when we broke up and she asked if we could be friends I said no and B) Because they're good friends.

      She obviously trusts him more than me, and that's why she's believed his story of "me hitting him because he asked me to leave".

      I've lately spoken the University about all this shit about my ex friend, so they'll eventually find out what he did and so will the rest of the dorm.

    • Show All
    • Then ask her out.

    • I'm not even going to dare until the truth about what my ex friend did is out. I'm certain her friends, who talked to me after the break up, but ignored me after the falling out my ex friend, will come up to me and apologise/comfort me. I'll take it from there.

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