Do you see your partner as an equal?

Do you consider youself above your significant other in overall value? Do you view him/her as a temporary fix? Are you ashamed of your partner in any way? Do you believe you could do better? Do you think he or she isn't able to score someone of your level all that often? Do you see your partner as an equal?


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  • 1. Yes, I do view him as my equal. We both excel in different areas but I believe we both contribute equally to the relationship and both treat each other fairly.

    2. No, I personally value my boyfriend way more than I value myself but he values me way more than he values himself so it kind of evens out.

    3. It'd have to be a pretty giant problem I have if the six years I've spent with him were to be considered temporary. No, he's not a temporary fix. He's (I hope) going to be around for the rest of forever.

    4. Ashamed? No. Sometimes he does something embarrassing, but who doesn't? I'm sure I embarrass him way more than the other way around :)

    5. I genuinely believe I could not do better. And that's not saying that he's as good as I can get and that I don't deserve better - he genuinely treats me fantastically, like a true gentleman. I honestly could not imagine anyone treating anyone else better than how he treats me.

    6. I don't understand this one so much. I think, if he wanted to, he could be with someone more physically attractive, but I don't think he could find someone who treasures him as much as I do. And like I said, it's been six years. That's basically our entire dating career. So I don't think he's given much thought to dating others. We kind of hit it off right from the start and clicked on all levels immediately - I don't think people typically meet the perfect one right out of the gate, but I'm pretty sure we did and I wouldn't (and I hope he wouldn't either) dream of attempting to find anyone else. Hope this answers your question.

    7. Again, yes. Equal though doesn't mean that we have the same abilities or anything - He can bench 170. I can barely do the bar :p I can run a 6 minute mile. He's dying before he gets a quarter mile. But I feel we have the same opportunities. We certainly see each other as equals in our relationship.

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What Guys Said 31

  • I see them as an equal, in fact I was having this conversation with someone yesterday. A couple is supposed to be a team, they support each other and help each other.

    I wouldn't be with someone who I was ashamed of, even if it was something small. As far as "doing better", I'm not shopping for a car or a house, feelings need to be mutual for a relationship to work, so no matter how much you might want someone you see as "better", if they don't want you, you're not getting them.

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  • Men are more likely than women to think of themselves as superior to the girl they are going out with.

    I've noted that for myself, those kinds of relationships don't really work out. The long-term relationships (3+ years) I've been in have been with people that I look at as equals, with similar levels of education, income, self-esteem... etc.

    The ones that I looked down on were usually a lot younger than me, and had a pretty face. Those tended to last a year or so.

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  • In my experience, this question needs to be slightly more specific. Occasionally in moments of anger I may look at my self and believe I expect better. Moments would occur where I would look at them and feel they weren't as beautiful visually as I remembered. It sounds horrible but I don't necessarily mean it in a bad way. In my opinion you as time goes on you begin to lose certain aspects of attraction to the other half. When you first see them you may get blown away, when those rare occasions of a conversation happen you may be thrilled, so when you get it every day, it loses effect. Instead though you find love in more hidden places, the way they brush their hair, the way their smile makes you feel. In terms of their opinion and views, I respect theirs as much as I expect them to respect mine, I would never feel ashamed with the person I'm with, I don't believe in 'levels' those tend to be based on appearance and a quick analysis of that person. There are so many aspects to a person that the only way to truly love them is to experience them for all they are, if you still have doubts after that, maybe they aren't for you. As a simple answer, I wouldn't view a girl I chose to be with as below me in any way.

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  • No.

    A healthy relationship requires:

    Girl to be inferior.
    Male to be superior.

    Once a man is inferior in a woman's eyes it's like a spit in the face. She's completely disgusted and repulsed.

    Throughout human history it has been this way.

    Man is leader.
    Woman is follower.

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    • Hmm I tend to think women are usually the ones who settle for their men. Guys tend to not have much enthusiasm for a woman they could do better than.

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    • Too many ignorant feminazis & white knights replying to you Cheeseburgers you must've really ruffled their feathers LOL! XD

    • Lmao. You know me, Pro. Delivering the bad news is what I do. The ego's defense mechanism doesn't like when it's held accountable.

  • Yes I see my partner always as an equal. I don't like being a leader or a dominant person nor do I like confrontation. I prefer discussing things and reaching a consensus if one can be reached. If one can't be reached we can make a compromise. I'm all about equality.

    I wouldn't be with someone seriously if I felt I could do better. If I felt I could do better I would do better.

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  • I will always consider my girl better than me; never equal or below. I worked my ass to ask her out. I will even continue to keep doing my best to be with her. The only way i feel ashamed is when she thinks that it wasn't necessary to do all this. Mainly because I did a lot to show my commitment to let her know i care. But hey, thats just me.

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  • I personally don't, I see anyone I date as above myself... so I believe they're too good for me most of the time. Especially since I date outside of my 'league'.

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  • Equal? I guess it depends on your own interpretation of what it means to be equal Because while we're ''equal'' I'm still The Dominate Masculine One & my partner is still The Submissive Feminine One. So I guess YES we're equal that is in my own definition of equality. Also ''Websters Dictionary'' can suck my SHAFT (Don't really remember the correct wording for this saying but wateva I DO WHAT I WANT!)! YOLO!

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  • Absolutely, we're full and equal partners with one huge exception: when the clothes start coming off, her ass is mine!

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  • That's the female mentality for you. There's a word for it. It's called Hypergamy.

    Personally, but I think most guys are with me on this, I just want a girl that is sweet, semi-cute, and has a level head on her shoulders. I wouldn't be with her if I was ashamed. There is no such thing as "doing better." I find my match and move forward.

    My partner is not equal to me. Nobody is. Everyone brings something different to the table. A doctor or lawyer would have no car if they didn't have the factory worker building it for him. They wouldn't have food if the farmer wasn't there to grow it for him, or the butcher there to provide the meat, or the chefs there to prepare the meal.

    It's all nonsense and it leads to animosity between people. I hope you agree.

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  • I'm the captain and she's my first mate. She trusts me to make the final decision and knows ill always take her advice into consideration. It's the best relationship in my opinion.

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    • lol of course it is the best in your opinion. you make the decisions.

  • If I don't consider her my equal then it would never work out. I would rapidly lose interest in the relationship and move on.

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  • Yes, we are equals and don't try to impose our will on each other. It's the only healthy way to have a relationship!

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  • No, we're very separate but very equal. Each of us is necessary for the house/family to run.

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  • I usually wouldn't date someone if I couldn't answer any of those questions positively. When I'm with someone I see them as my equal, and I appreciate the things about them that make them who they are

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  • Nope, She's far too amazing to be on my level, but she's sweet enough to see me as her equal. I don't know how I found her, but I'm sure happy I did.

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  • 1. Do you consider yourself above your significant other in overall value?
    No
    2. Do you view him/her as a temporary fix?
    NO WAY!!!
    3. Are you ashamed of your partner in any way?
    If I were she wouldn't be my partner (& I'm never ashamed of anyone with me EVER)
    4. Do you believe you could do better?
    All of us always can do better (did I understand and answer this right - if you are asking in terms of getting a better partner then the answer is NO)
    5. Do you think he or she isn't able to score someone of your level all that often?
    She's my partner not professional competition. When on professional level I won't give a leeway to her or anyone :)
    6. Do you see your partner as an equal?
    If she weren't she'd not be my partner - her being my partner makes us equal

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  • I think I'm way out of her league but i don't care cuz I really like her

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  • I could never date or even have sex with a woman I disrespect. Also I do not think there should be superiors and subordinates in the relationship.

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  • I'm quite dominant in some ways, but yes, I see her as my equal.

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  • None of the questions coordinate with your topic title.

    Do you consider youself above your significant other in overall value? -Huh? What value are you talking about.

    Do you view him/her as a temporary fix?- They would not be significant if I did.

    Are you ashamed of your partner in any way? -That is not part of a healthy relationship

    Do you believe you could do better? -That is also not part of a healthy relationship.

    Do you think he or she isn't able to score someone of your level all that often? No

    Do you see your partner as an equal? I don't know about that, but I do think that we compliment each other the area we need to be.

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  • I try to...
    but sometimes it's not... and sometimes she is best than me.
    this is the life :)

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  • Yes I see my partner as equal but most girls tend to depend on me to take care of them.

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  • Yes, equal

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  • 100% equal

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  • yes I do

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  • I'd like to, but most of the girls I end up with don't even understand the concept of a partner and just want to be a 'sub' in all respects.

    So much for an actual woman as a partner. Oh well, c'est la vie!

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  • No I don't see her as an equal.

    She could do much better.

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  • I generally don't think myself as better than others and I never let anyone think they are better than me.

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  • I see us as equal but different, the way it should be.

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What Girls Said 35

  • Yes. I am not above my partner and he is not above me. I am not ashamed of him and I believe that we are equal in all regards. I mean, obviously there are differences between men and women which is totally fine. I will never be as physically strong as him and he cannot multi-task like I can. There are clear differences between us but I do not think that makes either of us "better" than the other.

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  • I used to know this really smart and lonely guy who wanted to date me but he had phd and I was without a bachelors - he talked down to me and treated me like his little sister. I rejected him.

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  • No, I'm not ashamed of him. I'm very proud of him, even though other people give me crap for it. No, I could not do better. Maybe he "got lucky" but I think I did too, he's got the best personality. Yes, we're equals.

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  • I'm actually a little intimidated by the guy I'm dating. He's one of those people who is good at everything - athletic, artistic, a musician, and clever to boot. That being said, I consider him my equal and respect him as such.

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  • He is my equal.

    No I do not consider myself above him.

    I do not view him as temporary.

    I am not ashamed of him.

    He's a perfect fit for me, so there is no better I can compare to him.

    He could get most women if he wanted to.

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  • i definitely do. we complete each other. of course, not everyone is perfect, but it doesn't mean that they are any worse- their faults are just different to mine...

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  • We're equal to a degree. For example, I value his opinion as much as I value my own, BUT.. there are things he can do that I can't and vice versa. These things can make one another superior and inferior in certain situations.

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  • 1. Do you consider yourself above your significant other in overall value?

    No, not at all.

    2. Do you view him as a temporary fix?

    What sort of question is that? You shouldn't be using another human being as a "temporary fix", holy shit.

    3. Are you ashamed of your partner in any way?

    No, of course not.

    4. Do you believe you could do better?

    I've already found the best there is, thank you very much.

    5. Do you think he isn't able to score someone of your level all that often?

    His friends often tease him that apparently he "got lucky" with me and that I'm somehow "out of league". I find that just a tad insulting, since that sort of demeans MY taste in men.

    6. Do you see your partner as an equal?

    Absolutely.

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    • UPVOTE! I get teased for being "above my boyfriends league" and get told he got lucky, I could do better, etc. I know how you feel! It sucks for both of us! Why don't people understand that not everyone is shallow?

    • Annoying, isn't it? It's like they're saying we have shit taste in men or something.

  • We are equal in every way. We may come from different country and grew up with different traditions and religions, we are still equal. We doesn't treat ech other like the other one is superior and the other one is inferior.

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  • Yes I see my man as an equal because even though he works and pays for a lot of stuff I'm still I'm school and he treats me highly because he was in the navy and he respects how intelligent I am.

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  • She's a very beautiful girl so yes I see her as equal she's not a temporary fix and I love her very much. She would be able to score someone my level all that often yes.

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  • I believe that were equals if not it wouldn't work out or be a healthy relationship. I with him to spend my life with him, temporary is stupid as a boyfriend girlfriend you want a temp fix just get a fuck buddy. Could I do better I don't know haven't thought about it I love him and want to be with him so I don't need to do better. I hate the whole league things it's shallow and vain I don't care if a person is hot or ugly if your personalities work well together who cares. I have my moments when I feel a little ashamed but nothing huge or for very long

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  • Do you see your partner as an equal?
    Of course, we've always treated each other pretty equally and I think we go well together.

    Do you consider youself above your significant other in overall value?
    No, not at all.

    Do you view him/her as a temporary fix?
    No, I don't see him as a temporary fix, I'd like to be with him for as long as I can.

    Are you ashamed of your partner in any way?
    Not that I can think of, no. I really admire him. He can be a bit of a goofball sometimes but I don't think he's ever done anything that I felt ashamed of.

    Do you believe you could do better?
    Probably not! He's not "perfect" but he is a wonderful person and I can't imagine wanting to be with anyone else.

    Do you think he or she isn't able to score someone of your level all that often?
    Just the opposite, he could probably get any girl he wanted, I still sometimes wonder how I was lucky enough for him to give me a chance.

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  • I don't have a partner, though I'm crushing right now, so allow me to respond from the point of view of a girl that's not in a relationship.
    Generally, yeah, I consider him my equal, though we're different to each other so, naturally, he will be better than me in certain fields and I will be better than him in other fields. So I'll sometimes find myself inferior to him, sometimes superior.. it depends on the situation. He, however, makes me strive for improvement, for my evolution as a person with a quite (but not completely) different personality, range of qualities, abilities and flaws. Just so I can keep up with him and avoid feeling like I don't deserve him.
    But, overall, we're still equal. :)

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  • The woman im with is my complete equal, i don't try and put myself before her, or come to conclusions that i am in anyway better than her. We value eachother at the same level. She is definitely not a temporary fix, although i have had my heart broken many times, she is not and will never be temporary. As for being ashamed, My Fiancee is a disney watching, hookah smoking , Adult-child. Whom i love with all my dear heart. She tells me all the time how lucky she is, and how out of her level i am, and i honestly reply "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and when i hold you.. i know there is nothing more beautiful than the look you give me, when your in love" And she melts. So over all , my partner and i are equal.. as should everyone else be, no one is worse or better than you, were all human. we all make mistakes.

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  • I feel like were equal that's what a relationship is 2 people becoming one if there's ever an off balance the relationships don't work out

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  • No I use to see all my exes as superior to me. Maybe it was due to thr fact that I tend to date career oriented men with well psying jobs

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    • maybe that's why there exes :)... it doesn't matter how much money they make... A well paying job doesn't make a person superior...

  • Giving someone equal rights does not infringe or take away rights from you.

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  • I dont have an S. O. But it I did we would be equal.

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  • I see my partner as an equal.. yes.

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  • Wouldn't date anyone I couldn't see as an equal.

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  • yes I would see him as an equal

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  • No, sometimes I feel that he is better than me.

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  • He's my equal

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  • i think of him as an equal

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  • Yes sometimes

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  • Equal I suppose

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  • I'm not in a relationship but I tend to have expectations and put the guy on a pedestal

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    • why you put the guy on a pedestal?

    • Because I don't have a lot of dating experience so I look to him as to what to do

  • Holy cow this format is very different. I don't like the layout of the new GAG, is going to take me forever to get used to this.

    No I do not see significant others as lower than myself.

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  • The one I am with is mr. right now.. I have no significant other

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