I met this perfect guy and what was so perfect about him was his imperfections and his imperfections had seemed to fit in so much with mine because to tell you the truth he's not the best looking guy out there he's a normal 6 but they're something about him that makes all the girls want him so anyway we've been dating for about 2 months now and I was/ am-kinda completely head over heels for him at first I wasn't really attracted to him but I don't know something just happened and we started dating and he's always like "I can't believe you're mine" and stuff like that but recently we were at a pub together and this girl walked up to us and introduced herself and he kinda got a little shakey anyway I asked how they knew each other and she was like "oh we hooked up once" and I was like oh okay (I didn't mind cause I thought this happened before we started dating) but the second she said that he freaked out and said we should get out of here and the girl went ohh shit. Anyway when we came back I asked him what it was about why'd he freak out and then suddenly he just broke down crying and kept saying he's sorry he's sorry. He told me he was drunk one night and she was there all sobby and stuff and was complaining about her life and he was comforting her then suddenly she came on to him and he just wanted to make her feel better (he kind of has mom issues) this happened like after a week and a half when we started dating anyway I started pushing him away when he kept trying to hug my all while sobbing his eyes out. I kind of threw him out of the apartment I was so mad and told him I never want to see him again and stuff. he stayed out there for about 2 hours then finally gave up and left but I have like 20 messages on my cell and a gazillion calls from him right now. What should I do? I mean once a cheater always a cheater right? My dad cheated on my mom a lot that's why before my boyfriend any guy who wouldve cheated on me I wouldve sucker punched him and left him in a second but I don't know... should I move on? should I forgive him? he keeps calling me after every hour and I keep rejecting it I don't know what to do
Most Helpful Girl
Forgive, but do not excuse.
He did something wrong, and you're right - people rarely have a habit of growing stronger morals, but weaker ones over time. I would not continue to date him, but I would call him to say that you:
1) Forgive him
2) Think you both want different things out of life
3) While it was fun while it lasted, you do not see this working out long term
4) I am not mad at you, but only disappointed with the situation
5) Thank you for the apologies. I have accepted them, forgive you, but cannot excuse what you've done by continuing to date you.
Now if it were ME, and it was the very first weekish of dating, I would be very forgiving, because at that point - we would have just been getting to know each other. If he was a fantastic boyfriend to me and I couldn't imagine him doing that now, and he was apologizing because he felt bad for me and not so much for himself, I might consider gettting back with him. I don't usually get very jealous though (maybe because I've never gone through a cheater experience), but I would like to think it wouldn't bother me as much as most people seem to react. However, in your case, you seem to be pretty hurt by all this, and I don't think the relationship would ever be normal again after this kind of blow up. You're both better off starting again with different people.
Forgive = acknowledging wrong and accepting it with grace = granting mercy
Excusing = acting like nothing bad ever happened.
Grant him mercy. He obviously feels terrible, even if it is for selfish reasons. Grant him the mercy of knowing he is forgiven and having closure. Then move on.2