He wanted to marry me so why he left?

My boyfriend (31) of one year broke up with me Jan 17 after we got into an argument and this was our first fight apart ever since we been together. I'm 25 and we both have similar family background and it was truly love at first sight and a match made in heaven. We lived together for the entire year, he would come home from his trips and spend 3-4/7 days of the week with me. We talked/texted/skyped all the time he was away and time would just fly by until I would see him again.

We had our fair share of arguments basically because of my expectations from him & his lack of planning/expressing love. I planned surprise dates & fun activities plus spoiled him rotten & just wanted him to reciprocate a bit. I know yelling/arguing wasn't the best method but he always did something nice & thoughtful after a fight. We both loved each other dearly, were suppose to get married next year, he was going to propose me before graduation (May) and our families (Indian) were all preparing for our big day.

We had three big fights in less than 2 weeks in Dec and it did take a toll on us. I apologized to him genuinely several times, quit drinking for good, taking meditation classes to control my emotions etc and he knows I'm making those positive changes. Last time we talked on Jan 17 he told me he love me but we don't have healthy relationship ( using a friends wife advice who doesn't know or have even met me once). He always did nice things after a fight in the past so this time too we got in an argument & mean hurtful things were said on my part because I was hurt after his lack of efforts on our anniversary but even after the fight he said I love you. I called him later that night, things were good still & then out of blue 2 weeks later he decided to not work it out. We have always talked about "getting through anything" and now I can't even get through him.

He got me a promise ring last year, always held me tight & asked me to never leave him and cried because the told me no one ever cared for him like I did. Now he is ignoring me, my family , my friends everyone. Last time I tried to make a contact with him was Feb 5th. I'm going out of country for a month next month to visit family back home. I don't know if he is still hurt/mad/or have just forgotten all good times and wants to move on? None of his friends responded to my messages in Jan when I wanted to reach out to him. I feel lost, hurt and I'm not sure where all that love went? He wanted this more than anything, told me I was everything he always wanted in life and our families were so happy too.

His mom still replied back & asked me to take care of myself and let God take care of things. Why is he acting so stubborn and like a teenager. We both made mistakes that lead to the fight, will he ever come back? He recently wished my best friend & her fiancee on their engagement & when she asked the question of meeting me in person, he completely ignored the topic & didn't give a yes or no. He deactivated his Fb too


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What Guys Said 1

  • From just the brief things you put on here, I can see exactly why he broke up with you. You seem to be very difficult to get along with.

    Here is the issue. You expected him to be something he wasn't. If you plan a fun date with someone, you should do it because you want to have fun - not because you expect someone else to do the same. You were openly hostile to him when he (from his perspective) wasn't doing anything "wrong" in the relationship.

    Now you are staying he's acting like a teenager?

    It appears you don't respect an honor him

    • No it's not like that trust me, everytime I planned something fun I did it for us. I just wanted him to make our big days like birthdays & anniversaries special just like every normal girl would. If I bought him a $300 watch for his Bday it was because that's what he wanted all I wanted for him to do is to take me for a romantic dinner. I did all those things for him all year long, spoiled him rotten. Just wanted him to do something for once on our big days. I did everything whole heartedly :(

    • You proved my point. You did those things with the expectation of getting a return. Not because you truly wanted to in your heart. Some people aren't into those big gestures as much as you are.

What Girls Said 1

  • Wow..that's pretty tragic. I wouldn't give up on him just yet. Maybe the fight was just too much for him to handle and he's taking a break. Whatever the case may be, I'm pretty sure that year must have been amazing for him and he shouldn't just act like a coward. Updates are wanted.


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