The Consequences of finally walking out left me; lost, unhappy, overweight... Asking who am i

I was in a bad relationship last year but I'm having a hard time finding me again. Before the me and him got together I was in shape, going to school and a happy person just working hard for a better future. And then he come along it's not that things were always bad but I was the men and the women in the relationship I drove and paid for everthing. After a while I guess I finally woke up and realized that it was right. All more happened. I finally left but I haven't been able to go back to who I was. I've gained weight and haven't been happy with me or life. Any advice can be very useful thank you


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think your afraid the same thing could happen again not all guy's are pigs there is at least one that is your night in shining armor you have to believe it to be true and then the rest will fall in place


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What Guys Said 1

  • Lose some weight. Everything else will fall back into place...

    • You don't think I've tried that? I've tried I just can't seem to keep any of it off. What I've noticed is that when guys started notice me I've I don't know I got scared I guess

    • Yeah it sucks. My metabolism is slow as shit too. Cut your intake... You don't necessarily have to diet, just put a cap on what kinds of food you eat and how much. Fast food only once a week, and don't pig out on it. Drink only water. Exercise every day for 30 minutes. It's a lifestyle not a quick fix.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you need to take responsibility for staying in a sham of a relationship. I'm not saying by any means that this jerks behavior was YOUR fault,but I am saying that ALL of us have FREE WILL. Forgive yourself for staying in a terrible situation because you deserve MORE. And forgive this guy for not knowing how to show you love or acknowledge and accept your love. I disagree that losing weight and everything else will fall into place is an absolute solution. I believe that reprogramming your psyche is at the very genesis of evolving and becoming a better person. Coming to terms with what happened,accepting it,forgiving HIM and forgiving yourself is the START to actually being able to move forward from this hurtful situation.

    Your weight gain and lack of motivation and losing yourself obviously stems from the pain you continue to experience from continuing to mentally relive the trauma from the relationship. I think it would helpful to create a VISION board. A vision board would allow you to analyze short term goals,and long term that you want for YOUR Future. I guarantee you that if you can at least sit down and write out a short term goal list,and then a long term will start to feel some type of motivation kick up. Put these list where you can see them EVERYDAY. Also,write down a list of things you LOVE to do. Put it where you can see it every single day. This is about YOU connecting with YOU. Your short term list should be more of a month to month list. And your long term should be a least for 2014.

    After you have done this,commit to at least an hour each day to something you enjoy doing. Doesn't matter what it is...DO IT. All of this is a process. Getting yourself motivated is a start. Look at your short term list and your goal is to complete everything on that list. The best feeling is knowing that you can check off something that you have accomplished! Create a daily list as well. I think it is imperative for you to hang around positive energy girl. Don't hang around negative Nancys. If I were you,I would find awesome friends to spend my time with who can help and be uplifting. If you can find some inexpensive therapy in your area...DO IT. Its great to be able to talk and let it OUT.

    Physical health is just as important as mental health. If I were you,I would start with simple walks to keep you from going back to a depressed state. Take classes with friends,take advantage of good weather and try to get out and MOVE everyday. A body that is in REST will stay in rest. Eventually,you will have motivation to move more. But the weight is not the main issue...the process of reconnecting with yourself IS. Mental stability is. And happiness within yourself is. I know you're not happy with your physical appearance,just know that if you are able to work out more,those happy endorphins will be released to help you on your journey to finding who you are again.

    Without pain,how would you ever know how strong you really are.Goodluck


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