Is it ever okay for me to call my ex-boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I broke up about two weeks ago. We had a nearly 3-year relationship before this. He ended it -- it wasn't mutual at all. The break didn't go well at first. For the first few days, I acted horribly. I emailed him and told him that I was sorry for how things had went, and that I missed him terribly. I should have just shut up and given him space, but I didn't.

A few days went by without a word, then a week ago he wrote me and told me that he's going through a lot of stress, and that he's not even really sure he wanted to break up. He's told me that he needs time and space to figure out his own head. He wrote that he'd like to talk to me at some point, but he can't do that until he has had space and time, and that he doesn't know what he wants me in his life as yet.

I've respected his request for silence and space, but at the same time, I keep thinking about when I can call him.

Is it okay for me to call him ever? If so, when? How long should I wait?

I miss him such a lot, and though I know we will probably never get back together, he's someone that I would like to be able to be friends with. It's killing me not being able to call him and just say hi.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Should you never call him?
    No, I think that would be uncalled for. You should call him at some point perhaps, if he doesn't call you, but just not any time really soon. Maybe give him two weeks to a month and then try calling him and seeing if everything's going well in his life. It sounds like he probably needs someone there for him and doesn't know how to deal at the moment, which means that even if you try to be there right now it would probably strain what's left of your relationship (the chance for at least friendship, if not more since he seems to be unsure of if he even wanted to break up).

    So give him a little bit of time to unwind, but considering how long you were together and given the fact that you both seem to have some desire to keep some sort of relationship with one another, don't just never call him. If he doesn't call you by near the end of March, call him just to check up.


What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, as of right now you need to keep your space and give him the time he needs. He will contact you when he wants to talk. And.. if he never contacts you, think of it as a positive. You both have time to think about our relationship with each other and how its been in the last few months.


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