Time to leave my boyfriend of 3 and a half years?

So I'll try keep this short. He's been out of work for a year and not tried looking at all, his response was always 'there is no jobs' or 'I don't know how to apply'. He's 29 and I'm 22 and we've been together 3 and a half years, we recently broke up due to the job situation and because I bought him a trip to Paris for his Christmas and that was 'embarrassing' for him. Anyway we made up after a week, with him eventually begging me to come back (we've never broke up before) and he came to Paris. All was good there, came home and he quit cigarettes and green (long story, too long for this lol) stopped sleeping all day and started the gym. Still no sign on the job applications but at least some things changed. But I'm not happy & I can see it, everything is starting to annoy me and tonight he's told me I've changed and I'm snobby for not wanting to go to a 'mens' type pub for dinner.. I work in a good job and I have class but I'm no snob. I'm scared as we have a house & cats etc. The house is in his name but I bought all the furniture so if we do split I'd have to rent a flat and he would be left with an empty flat and I really don't want to hurt him. When we had 'the break' he told me I wasn't getting the cats aswell and that breaks my heart thinking about it. It's just a horrible situation and I don't know what to do. Help? Wish I could fast forward a year lol
So id just like to let everyone know that I actually did it! Lol this isn't a question just wanted to update :) it's been tough, it's now been 2 weeks on Sunday and this Tuesday I'll be collecting my furniture and moving into a new flat :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetie, there is a name for a sweet pea like yourself and that is: ENABLER. No wonder this relationship is going into the litter box as I "fast forward" all my thoughts I cannot contain.
    An enabler is anyone who picks up the pieces for a loser, whether it is drugs, alcohol, gambling, or even allowing them to sit home all day, with No intentions of finding a job, while you are busting your hump at Yours.
    Sure, he will always give you the same lame excuse about the "dead end" job situation, because he is a dead head, who never even bothers to get off his bum and go out and even Inquire. He finds it more relaxing and---rewarding---to sit in front of the boob tube with his pussies, and probably don't even so much as pick up a poop scoop to clean out their crap can. On top of all that, he is Conveniently dumping you with all the bills, and even getting hand outs from you for all His thrills, meaning that pricey free ride to Europe , that he "Claims" he was so "embarrassed" about. More like guilt ridden. He knows you can afford all these luxuries----along with him and your other baggage as well---and this just Enables This tom cat to stay home even longer, and milk you for all you are worth.
    Here is what I suggest if you are serious about bailing out on lazy bones. Inform him Flat out, you are starting to look for your own pad. Also inform him he has ample time to either look for a job to start Paying for the house that is in His name, or go into foreclosure. It's no longer your problem. Turn your back. Be tough.
    Next, pick and choose Just the furniture you would like to take, and leave him a few pieces for his butt to bop on. Being you would be so kind to do all of this, he may even consider parting with One of the pussies. It's called Compromise, and if he hisses over it, then just take what is yours, and---buy another feline later.
    He's not going to change. This type of guy never does. They just get more comfy with age, like an old fat cat. xx

    • No matter what job this bum gets, it will never be one he will neither Like nor---stick with. These kind of milk duds are never happy with anything, because they really don't want to work. They want to be supported, and actually think, the Prima Donna's they are, that the world and everyone in it, owes them a living. xx

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    • Hey, girl frien, I'm rooting for you all the way.. Take my hand, and You will feel me guide you into a much better world than what you are living with in. Oh, by the way .. feel free to leash one of the felines on, if so be it. Yes, you DO owe it to yourself, because you are a winner, and deserve the very best.. You have certainly earned it.. Good luck..:)) xx

    • Yes, be brave, and do what you Must to Just go.. And s happy this has helped you in so many ways.. I will be thinking about you reading It, as you pack ship and sail.. xx

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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like he knows that, it sounds like he's manipulating you with the cats and furniture.. If you have to convince yourself to stay, you should probably leave.

    • Thanks for your reply :) your right, a relationship shouldn't require convincing lol thanks again.

    • You're welcome. It's a good idea not to let him trap you, or get trapped into being with him.

    • Here Here sometimes you just need a couple of neutral people to confirm it! best of luck and remember what my grandmother used to say to me "life is easy but people make it hard" well done!

  • Send him packing me dear, its hard but you sound like your worlds apart and if you dont make the break you will get dragged down and waste time at a crucial stage of your life!

    Best of Luck

    • Thanks for your reply :) I'm going to do it, going to get my things together over the next few days then sit down with him when I'm ready :) please send some strength! Lol thanks again

What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe see if he's interested in getting a job coach. They are very helpful when It comes to finding jobs. They even help you to fill out job apps and prepare you for interviews, etc.

    • Lol tried that, tried to get him to go to the job centre and speak to the people that help you write cvs etc, apparently it's not his scene :)) he sticks to getting his sister or mum to write his cvs and apply for him..

  • Yeah if you wish. It will teach him to appreciate you more


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