Me and my girlfriend broke up but things that were said still leaves me hope... I think?

So I had been with this girl for 4 months. I won't get into all the details but best relationship I had ever had. She had recently gotten out of a long term relationship but we grew really close. After 3 months I moved home from college and she still has like 1 year left. I would visit her as much as possible and things were great. Then out of nowhere she said that "something was missing" and we talked and talked and talked. Our timing was bad. We ended it but as I was leaving she kissed me just like nothing was wrong. Then she said "I'd like to meet up down the road". I asked what she meant by that and she said to meet up and talk about things and possibly revisiting things. I was confused by that.

About 10 days later she went out on a date with a guy that seems to go for all my exs. She didn't know that but I was kinda hurt. I had been having a rough time with things so I wrote a note and said that I had fallen in love with her because I never told her and I just needed to get it off my chest. She was kind of speechless and I know it meant something to her. She did say "I'm not going to wait around until that one day that we meet back up, I'm going to go on dates if I'm asked". I completely understand that. I don't know what the status of her and this guy that she went on a date with and I'm sure I don't wanna know.

So thats the general situation without every tiny detail. So what I'm asking is: is there any hope to get her back? And how long until I contact her? Its been a month since we ended it and 2 weeks since I wrote her that note and last spoke to her. This girl meant more to me than any other, and I fell hard for her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think what's happening here is that, coming out of the long term relationship, she just wasn't emotionally ready for the type of relationship the two of you would have had, had you kept seeing each other. Judging by the details you gave, it sounds like the two of you probably would have been together for a long time, and perhaps would have been serious. She probably just wanted to date around for a bit, before getting into another serious relationship. This guy that she went on a date on may just be someone for her to fill her time with, but not necessarily someone she could fall in love with.

    I definitely think that there is hope in this situation. If she didn't want to ever see you again, she probably wouldn't say that she would want to revisit in the future (I mean unless she was a real jerk!!!) Sometimes people, especially those who have been hurt or just came out of a long term relationship, just need extra time to figure out their feelings for another person, and usually, this means dating other people. To be honest, I'm not sure when would be the right time to contact her again, but I definitely think that there is hope for you to get her back :)

    • Thanks, I definitely think you hit the nail on the head with what you said. She was talking about the possibility of us being together even after she graduated so it was definitely been long term/serious. She is absolutely not a jerk, I've been down that road before lol. She also said that she has a rule against revisiting things in the future but its different with me. I'm hoping that it's just her figuring things out, I guess I'll let her do her thing and contact her at the end of the semest

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What Girls Said 2

  • There is hope that you could get her back, but I'd strongly advise against it. It sounds like she's got some deeper issues, what with her not being able to fully commit but just choosing to leave you on the back burner in case she can't find anything better. You could contact her now if you'd like, but again ask yourself what that would really bring you. Considering all the things she's said to you recently, such as that she'll be open to going for dates with other guys as well as how something was missing, don't expect things with her to go back to how they were in the beginning.

    I'm sorry but it really sounds like she either got bored, or realized she had settled for you and started trying to find something better. In the grand scheme of things she sounds like bad news, and I'm sure with a little bit of time you'll start seeing that for yourself. Good luck! :)

    • yea I hear what you are saying. The "missing" part was me not being there at school with her anymore. When she told me that she wanted to meet up down the road she said "I have a second chance rule, but you're the one exception". She had brought up us being together for the long run when we were together. I don't know, thank you for the input though

  • i'd say since she said shed like to meet back up with you down the road, there is hope, but the fact that she is already dating again isn't a good sign. you've really done all you can to get her back bc you've told her how you feel and i'm afraid if you push yourself on her more, she might not like that and draw away from you.


What Guys Said 2

  • Did you ever come to a conclusion of "what was missing?"

    • kinda... pretty much that me not physically being at school with her anymore. And I think that was a problem because her last relationship the guy just left one day. I think she was afraid that one day I just wouldn't come to see her anymore

    • I do believe there is a possibility of getting back together. But it won't be until she finishes college at the earliest.
      She said she isn't going to wait around until that day. I suggest you don't either.
      Move on with your life. What happens in the future happens. Don't sit around waiting. You may be very disappointed.

  • Leg her go and stop torturing yourself. Women will leave a door open to have someone to return to if things with someone else doesn't work out. I've seen this situation a thousand times. Run you deserve better.