About a month and a half ago my ex broke up with me because I was headed down a bad path, I was drinking way to much, not working, pretty much being someone who I'm not. I've done really great since the break up, working my ass off, have gone stone cold sober, started paying back money I owed her. After the break up she told me she still loved me, she has a void, but she still has the images of who I was when we broke up. Last week I poured my heart out to her and she told me that she doesn't know about our future and to just keep things friendly for the mean time. I know she's not dating or even leaving her house other than to go to work. We still talk everyday, sometimes she crosses the boundaries of friendship a little bit. So Saturday night we texting and she made some comments that required a sweet comeback and nothing more, I played it cool, she seemed dejected. So we didn't talk all day yesterday until last night when she texts me before work, she was wondering why I haven't text her all day. Last night when she got off work she texts me and said something along the lines of I didn't know if you were mad or on a date. I kind of figured that she would know I'm not dating, being I told her a week ago that I love her and hope we can be together again. She was relieved that I wasn't mad at her, which I have nothing to be mad at. So what does this all mean? I'm stuck in a spot where I told her I would keep things friendly. What do I do?
Most Helpful Guy
I would keep it friends for a while yet.
The "void" is it because she actually misses you? Or, is it because she hasn't found someone else?
Besides the drinking issues and related problems. How was the relationship otherwise? What were the "boundaries of friendship" she crossed? was she asking personal questions about things that are none of her business?
Congratulations with your progress so far it's a big step for you.
A big part of your decision should be in regards to your drinking. Now this is coming from a dry alcoholic, who had a huge and I mean huge drinking problem. But I've been clean 13 1/2 years. :-)
Because there were some problems in the relationship, you don't want to put yourself in a position that may cause you to start drinking again. I'm not down playing your progress because it is commendable, but 6ish weeks is not a big amount of time. Why did you get sober? Did you decide I need to get my sh*t together? Or was it more for her?
You don't need to answer these questions here. These are things you should ask yourself.
Definitely keep the friendship. But I'd give it 2 or 3 more months before deciding whether you want to give the relationship another try.0