In a terrible state after a break-up. How do I recover fast?

I've known my boyfriend for 2 years and we've been really close friends. We realized we had feelings for each other and got together at a party in January. It was a LDR. However, we lived only 1 hour away from each other so it wasn't much of a problem. We had a healthy and cute relationship, our mutual friend mentioned she had never seen us both so happy. However, after a month he told me the relationship will not work out and that he doesn't have any feelings anymore. It was out of blue and left me completely devastated, because it all seemed perfect just a few days ago, when we met and he was really happy to see me and just after a few days I get this. All of my friends were mad, all of his friends were shocked. He kept apologizing, he said nothing was wrong with me and the relationship was perfect, he just lost interest but really wanted us to stay friends. I agreed about the friend part, because I didn't want us to stop communicating. However, I've been crying for two weeks now, because he broke up with me just when I realized I was in love with him for quite a lot of time. I can't sleep because of tachycardia, I keep shivering a lot and it sometimes is hard to breathe and walk. My classmates noted that look like a corpse and that they've never seen me look so ill before, even though I get ill often. I try to go out more, find more hobbies, I talked with my mother and my friends about it, got a little better, actually. However, I still feel numb and I don't know what to do, should I write him or not? He texted me a few times after the break-up and we're in the same crew so we get to play League of Legends together, I feel happy when I'm talking with him but after I realize we're not going to be together anymore, I burst into tears and feel upset for the rest of the day. I might be too naive, but I still have a little bit of hope he might return, because he's a really nice guy and he told me he still feels bad about hurting my feelings. What should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I just recently went through something similar. Although I'm not 1000% better you have to realize certain things doll.

    First you have to be honest with yourself, don't fight the way you feel, let yourself cry and do whatever else it is you need to do. Write your feelings down, cry, whatever it is you need to do. The worst thing you can do is deny yourself the ability to feel these things, otherwise you will be stuck in the same state forever.

    Then you need to let yourself let go of that relationship, just keep telling yourself that it didn't work out because it wasn't meant to. You also need to remind yourself that it doesn't mean that you aren't worthy of having someone wonderful. He just was not that person and while you love him now, you were only meant to love him for the time that you were allotted to.

    The next thing you need to do is have a talk with him, a private, honest talk. Tell him how you feel. You need closure. You need the source of your pain to hear these things. Make sure he understands how it makes you feel, why and how it hurts. When you honestly get it out of the way no matter if he is apologetic or a complete asshole about it, you take a deep breath and you walk away. I mean, literally walk away after you said what you had to say, take a breath and walk away. Enjoy the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, the green of the trees, whatever it is that's around you take them in in those moments, the good things. So whenever you think back to that moment, it won't be sadness , it will be content because you will remember those other things around you at the time, the air in your lungs.

    I'm usually military about these things so you need to make a decision and stick to it. DO NOT STRAY, do these things like your life depends on it, not his life, yours.

    It's the only way. When you get in front of the mirror, make sure you tell yourself that you are beautiful and you deserve better. Even if you don't believe now, say it out loud.

    • Thank you so much! I felt like I needed an advice like that. :)
      I had a talk with him and told him about how I feel, I actually felt a lot more better, he felt really bad about hurting me, though.
      I'll try everything you said and I hope things will work out. :)

    • Good luck to yah, just be committed to this like I said and if you ever need me, you know where to find me. :)

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  • Best way to get over someone is to get under someone

  • cafe granita.


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