Everyone: Can women (and men) really compete with the "new and different"?

I am writing a paper for my Psychology class and I need some help. Now, people will tell you that there are many reasons why people cheat. Some because they're dissatisfied with the sex or attention they receive at home, some for financial benefits and others simply because they can (and other reasons I'm sure). My argument is that no matter how good things are in your relationship, whether marriage or otherwise, you can never really compete with someone/something that is seemly new and different. It's human nature to want that. Now, the excitement you get from that new encounter may spark feelings of dissatisfaction in your own life and may make you more likely to cheat. And as the other partner in that relationship, there is really nothing you can do to avoid that, in my opinion. But what is your take on this issue? Do you agree, disagree, have other thoughts? How could you prevent your partner from cheating in this scenario, if that's even possible? Please share your thoughts and thank you all in advance!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I agree with your premise, but disagree that "there's nothing you can do". You're right, a woman can't replicate the first time with a long-term partner... the feelings or excitement. But New Pussy's illiterate. New Pussy can't cook.

    People have to learn to appreciate the stability and lack of drama that an established relationship can provide, regardless of how "unsexy" it seems.

    And people need to do the best they can to keep the relationship and the sex fresh. When you hear the phrase "relationships are hard work" I think that's what they're referring to.

    You can never fully prevent someone else in a relationship form doing something, but you can certainly provide a disincentive.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • I agree, provide an incentive for the person not to cheat, but I was speaking to the very same thing where the relationship is almost perfection, you're getting everything you've ever needed, nothing is seemly lacking but then someone new comes along, what is your partner to do in that regard? And there are times when this new person is equal or "greater" than your current partner, so what is the incentive then?

    • Then you have to rely on a person's individual desire not to be an asshole.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It's like comparing normal living to a holday.
    When you're on a holiday, you don't have to put out the garbage, mow the grass, and deal with all the other day to day problems. It seeems so easy.

    If you go to live at that same place where you just had a holiday, everything changes and you do have to deal with the responsibilities of life. A partner who's dealing with all those reponsibilities often won't seem as much fun as some "other" who deals with none of them. The "other" might even have more money to spend, because it hasn't all been spent on those resposibilities.

    It's easy for the cheater to find the "other" more fun, because the "other" doesn't have to do his/her share of the teamwork and just has time to play.

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    • You're absolutely right, the grass always seem greener on the other side, when in reality in really isn't. But how can their partner compete with that scenario?

  • There is some merit to your argument but it ignores an important fact. If a man has it really good at home and he knows it, he won't want for anything. If he knows his wife / lover takes better care of him than anyone else can, there's no way he would jeopardize that by cheating. I'm speaking from my own personal experience here and everyone is different so there are no guarantees. But, I'm confident there would be a lot less cheating and a lot more genuinely happy marriages if more women took that little fact to heart.

    It goes both ways, of course, but let's face it... sex means very different things to men and women in long-term relationships. A lot of women would argue that fact, and they'd be fools.

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    • Well, my argument takes into consideration that everything is good at home and that the person who encounters this newness is fully aware of what they have. I think it really boils down to strength of character. We've all seen or heard of someone who cheats or leaves what we/they would describe as a perfect relationship and then end up regretting it later, those people will say it was a one time thing, a mere moment of weakness...

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    • As important as sex is in any relationship, it can't be or shouldn't be, in my opinion, it's foundation. Over time sex fades, you don't get it right all the time, people get ill etc. What are going to do, back out when sex gets bad? Even though its better to back out than cheat!

    • Now going back to my original question, someone new will always be appealing if sex is going to be that paramount and there's nothing anyone can do about that. What prevents a person from giving in would be the other things that sustains a relationship besides sex.

What Girls Said 1

  • I whole-heartedly disagree. Some people (like myself) prefer the comfort, security, and love that comes with being in a long-term commitment over the more chaotic and unstable new relationship. Sure it's exciting, but it can also be nerve wracking. I much prefer knowing what to expect more or less.

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    • So true, some people do hate new relationships. But since we're discussing cheating then I don't think of it as a commitment of any kind so certain things don't apply. For example, if its just a physical thing then you don't have to get to know them or impress them or any of that. Now if its an emotional thing, then that's whole different story.

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