Is it Odd or Pathetic that I still think about my ex almost 1.5 years after the breakup?

She broke up with me in November of 2012. We only went out for 10 months. She broke up with me because she thought the relationship wasn't going anywhere.

In fairness, I never told her that I loved her (was waiting for the right moment. I guess I waited too long) or popped a ring.

I tried to get her back, but she said no and that she never loved me.

I went NC for 2 months before I saw her again at a function with mutual friends. The encounter was brief and awkward, but amicable enough. I did not get a vibe that she wanted to reunite as some dude was hitting on herin my presence and she seemed to be responding, or at least enjoying the attention.

I kept my cool and left on friendly terms. Instead, I went out with other women (nothing serious, but I knew it would get back to my ex as I was seen out with my ex's friends). Anyway, the next time I saw my ex, I approached her in a friendly manner and she was completely cold and rude to me. I was stunned and hurt. After all, she broke up with me, said we could remain friends, and presumbaly broke up with me so I could date other guys.

I later found out that she rebuffed that guy who was hitting on her, so maybe she was just enjoying the attention and wanted me to get jealous so I could try to get her back.

Call it pride, but I just couldn't bring myself to crawl back. I especially felt this way because, during the breakup, she told me that her ex boyfriends (even married ones) would contact her to try to hook up with her. Even during the relationship, she would tell me about guys that would hit on her/chase her. I simply didn't want to feed that ego.

But, now I can't stop thinking about what could have been. Maybe, I should have stayed away from other women until I gave my ex another shot. But, if I did that, then she would be in total control.

I haven't seen her in 6 months, but we travel in similar circles, so it's only a matter of time before I run into her and another guy.



Most Helpful Girl

  • Thinking about an ex now in then happens. But you need to move on honestly find a new girl


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • If it was real love, then you will never be totally over it. Try 15 years of not being over someone. Sucks, but now I am finally free.

  • Accept that it is over. There's no point looking back.


What Guys Said 2

  • What could have been is not real. There is only what is.

    And what is...

    She broke up with you to be with other men.
    She is rude and controlling.
    She is emotionally manipulative.

    My advice is ditch the hope. You've still yet to tell yourself you don't want her and you're holding onto the possibility that maybe, somehow, it may not be over.

    It's over. Believe it.

    • I know you are mostly like, but like my friend observed: if I am still breathing and she still breathing, I keep thinking there is a possibility to get back together. I wish turn that thought of like a light switch.

      I just can't believe she turned on me the way she did after she said we could remain friends.

    • thanks... I meant that you are most likely right.

    • She just said that to be 'kind'. Why be friends with an attractive woman who doesn't want you anyway? It would drive you nuts.

      I understand the frustration though, I still think about my ex too, almost 1,5 years afterwards.
      But I have learnt to live with it.

  • Keep pursuing other women. As you've said, there's very low chance of a reconciliation at this point.

    • This sucks! I just don't know what else I could have done. If I didn't go out with other women and sat on my hands, I was taking the chance that she would have never come back to me anyway.

    • You were also ruining the chance of meeting someone better than her. So it all depends on your perspective.

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