Ex gf messaging me and flirting despite knowing that I'm living with my current gf, how to politely set up a boundary without being rude?

My ex is blasting up my e-mails, Facebook , you name it acting all "I miss you," and laughing at every little thing I say, and wanting to video chat, and just wanting to reconnect. Every chance she gets, she tries to flirt or take things to some sexual level, and quite honestly, I'm not interested.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy talking to her, but as a friend, and that's it. I know she's lonely though, and that she needs a friend right now. I obviously know my gf would be pissed, because she would take me talking to her the wrong way, but I just feel bad for my ex. I look at her in a sort of sad and pathetic way, not to sound like I'm looking down on her or anything, but I just feel bad, like guilty if I were to just lock her out of communicating with her and leave her on her own.

By the same token, I don't want to have her neediness destroy my relationship with my current gf. I also don't want to be rude or impolite to my ex. After all, she was never mean or anything.

I just don't know what to do. I definitely need to set up a firm boundary, but in a way that won't hurt her feelings. Girls, I'm guessing you have more experience in this department. Any help?

Updates:
she knows about my live-in gf of 5 years now. . . this isn't exactly "new"

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'd let your gf know what's been goin on and how you feel about your ex. And at the same time I'd tell your ex you have a gf and that its inappropriate for her to be doin what she's been doin... its up to her how she's going to react and deal with the truth of where you are in your life and that you met someone else.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Just tell during one of your conversations that you're with someone new now.

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