Is he lying or cheating on me?

My boyfriend and i have been dating for 7 months. His last relationship his gf cheated on him and he broke up with her after 4 years because he didn't love her anymore. Sometimes he is a jerk to me and doesn't act like he wants to be with me. When we are out he doesn't talk to me much but his brother and dad are the same way with their wives. I have had bad luck with guys in the past and have been cheated on so I'm scared of getting hurt again. I know not all guys are the same. His mom and couple other people have said they haven't seen him this happy for awhile. But to me sometimes he doesn't seem happy. We have been fighting a lot lately due to me not fully trusting him. He gets mad because he wants me to trust him and says he doesn't lie to me and hasn't cheated on me and never will. I found condoms in his pickup last week and asked why they were in there. He said that when he was Goin through his receipts they were on the bottom and he just set them there. He took them out because I told him too. Also couple days ago I noticed he deleted texts from a girl he use to sleep with. He keeps all his texts so I was a little upset on why he would delete them. He said he doesn't remember when he deleted them. She was in a relationship but couple weeks ago I saw she was single. I don't know whether to believe him or not. Please help me I need to get over this because it's not healthy in our relationship. He says he loves me and wants to marry me. We live together so we spend every night together. I just don't know what to do anymore and what to believe. I'm tired of getting hurt :(
So does it sound like he is lying or telling the truth? Also does it sound like he is cheating on me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetie, please relax and learn to trust this man until he gives you Absolute proof in the pudding that he has done you wrong.
    He's been burned before by a cheetah, so he knows how it feels. I realize, you too, have been stung.
    Although he isn't the walkie talkie he should be out in public, it sounds like it's nothing personal, just "runs in the family." If his mom and other people are noticing his happy thoughts then those are Ones who obviously see something Good that you may be too close to notice. However, alone with you, he may feel sometimes some of his past haunts him.
    Mistrust and feeling insecure will put a monkey wrench in a relationship faster than you can say "Jack Rabbit." Because of these odd coincidences, things that don't look right in your eyes, now he seems like this "liar" you're living with, spending every nite with, but yet do you know for sure he is Not where he says he is during the Day?
    Perhaps he deleted these texts from this girl who just happen to text him because he didn't want you to suspect he was cheating, and she just so happen to contact him. Now that she is single, don't you think he could go be with her Again if he wanted to?
    Sometimes in a fit of frustration and panic, we allow our minds to play tricks on us, causing these paranoid thoughts and feelings, and it will damage a relationship. He is getting uptight because he says he loves You, and wants a chance to prove that he can be trusted, and as the saying goes: "Someone is innocent until proven guilty."
    He is living with you, which I feel is a big step for a man who had a bad experience with a hoe, and he has even asked you to marry him in the future. He has chosen you. I am quite sure he could have chosen anyone after his other raw deal, but he found someone amazing, and I think that if you truly love each other, learn to have more trust, and More open lines of communication, in order to hold down a happy haven and make things Stay healthy.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Thanks for responding. Your comment really made me think and helped. Thank you :)

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    • :)) xx

    • Where there is Love, there is always a way.. xx

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What Girls Said 6

  • I think he is lying to you, he is keeping things from you and then totally manipulating you trying to make you think it's you who is delusional or something, i've had guys try to do this to me too many times, they say stuff like "You need to change your thinking, you think so bad why?" to try and get me to sleep with them and change my feelings for them on a whim, most men are disgusting these days and i can't trust men altogether because of issues with my dad and my brother fighting and my brothers violent temper, he's hit me before, from seeing how arrogant guys can be and how they let their ego constantly get in the way of things i have issues trusting guys because they constantly lie. This situation is just a classic of a guy, they expect us to not know he is hiding things from us or not talking to us about things but you can just feel it there building and building, you can feel the tension from him, he is definitely lying to you about something so i would ask him about it, if he keeps saying nothing then avoiding the subject then he's definitely not being honest with you, also another classic move of a guy.

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    • I'm not saying this because i have trouble trusting guys, just from experience with guys and for the past couple of years i've been paying close attention to how i feel in different situations and i'm just getting the same gut feeling here that he is keeping something from you as i have with other guys who were indeed lying to me, they avoid the subject instead of giving us a straight answer and act rather funny with us when we know they suspect them, they just can't fool a womans instincts.

  • You should believe him. He told you that he doesn't cheat, and never will. I went through something similar, although it had to do with postpartum hormones, but i also thought my partner of 2 years was cheating. We talked abouf it, and although i believed him, i still didn't have trust for somereason. I reccomend doing some cardio exercises everyday, it sounds silly, but has totally helped me get over this weird trust issues

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  • I think you need to tell him what has happened to you in the past with your cheating ex and he should tell you what has happened in the past with his and thats why you have trust issues. I would trust him until he gives you a reason not to (and if you can't trust him you need to break up because nothing will be resolved) the only way for this to move forward is if you trust him (actions speak louder than words)

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  • Its really important to trust him until there is a definite reason not to. I mean undeniable proof. I can really relate to you, I've had horrible relationships and even being with my fiance now for years I get these moments where I have doubts and paranoia. But.. I need to check myself because he's not the person who hurt me.

    Its not fair to him, you know what I mean. Imagine if its was flipped he was constantly acting like you were guilty of things you haven't done.
    That can push him away. So try really hard to remember, he's not the one that hurt you. Until he does something really wrong, trust him. That will resolve a lot of your problems because you need trust in any relationship, not just romantically.

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    • Something I forgot to add is that part of trusting him is not checking up on him all the time. Like looking through his messages and stuff. You'll only drive yourself crazy.

      If he's giving you reasons not to trust him that needs to be handled directly with each other. If by his actions he doesn't show you that he cares and is trustworth you should obviously leave. BUT something to keep in mind like another girl said, you'll never be happy with someone if you don't trust them. So you at some

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    • Thank you for responding. Your comment really helped. I am going to try hard to trust him and not let the little things get to me. Before when I thought he was lying I found out he was actually telling the truth. So even though he deleted the girls messages I'm going to drop it for now until I have proof on why he did it.

    • You're welcome, I'm glad I could help at all.

  • If you don't trust him then you should break up with him. It would be better for the both of you.

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    • I'm trying to trust him and make it work. But I just need advice on if I should believe him and trust him

  • Ooooh this is tough!! But irrelevant to if he`s actually cheating or not, the biggest problem i see here is the trust issue. because even if he isn`t cheating, your doubt will NEVER allow you to be happy to your fullest... i had a guy put me throught this and it was just awful... i decided to end things because even when you like someone so much, once they put the doubt in you it`s so hard to ignore things and just trust so asily again.. and how can someone be happy always wondering and thinking things? You can`t... and then what happens if you find out your doubts and intuition were right? it just makes you that much more misserable...

    So, i would just let the guy go and find somone that doesn`t put you through this kind of shit. My mom wouldn`t aggree with me but she puts up with a lot of crap, i don`t and i won`t.

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