My ex and I broke up in August 2013 (we were together for 2 1/2 years); we tried to reconnect but it didn't work. Three weeks later, I find out he has a new girlfriend.
I was head-over-heels for this man. He is the only man I ever fell in love with (I'm 27). We were very close friends, fought only a handful of times, and I loved his family- they loved me. When we broke up he told me he never loved me.
Before deleting his contact info completely, he told me this new girl is more caring, more comforting and a nicer person and he can't get enough of her. I know he is saying these things to hurt me. I'm heartbroken, and I can't move on.
I'm struggling with the fact that he is my first love; he wrecked my self-esteem by telling me he was never in love with me, and yet, I still can't picture never having this man who I thought was the one in my life.
I'm seeing a therapist, but it's a daily struggle where I cry and can't stop. I feel used and taken for granted.
How can a man stay in a relationship with a woman he claims he never loved for over two years? P. S. We even picked out floor plans for a house and met with contractors. I was blind-sided by our break up :( I am a hot mess. All advice welcome..
Most Helpful Girl
There are two sides to a story girl. I know you're hurting, but I can't devalue what he actually said regarding why he likes the new person. Usually, when relationships fall apart... SOMETHING is broken. Either the relationship itself or the people involved. Sometimes ALL of us do things we have no idea the other person despises, until its pointed out to us or until we get feedback.
Breakups never JUST happen. There was a road to get there. Which makes me believe that he was just going along with the motions, while wanting out of the relationship. Maybe it just wasn't the relationship for him, or maybe he has other issues. I'm just speculating here.
Personally, even though you're hurting, I think he did you a FAVOR. You should NEVER want to be with someone who doesn't love you as much as you love them. So, he did the RIGHT thing. He threw you back into the sea so someone else can catch you. Someone who is more deserving of your love. More importantly, someone who is able to reciprocate it. I commend you for going and getting therapy, it WILL help you. And know that his comments regardless if true or not, was mainly him making digs at you for whatever reason. Its immature, AND also a part of the character of the very person you were in love with. That same person had the ability to hurt you. If that's not enough to help you move on I don't know what will.
Its like that movie "500 Days of Summer". When you look back on your relationship, you will find that things were not as perfect as they may have seemed. And there were probably signs he didn't feel as strong as you did. But sometimes we choose to believe what we want to believe. This is a learning experience for you, as well as an opportunity for you to be super proud of yourself for being able to LOVE unconditionally. Some people do not have that ability. Overtime, you WILL heal. And believe it or not, you WILL find love again. But next time it will be given back a hundred fold. Good luck.