Possible cheating and violence. Should I stay in this relationship?

So me and my boyfriend have been together for a year. All was great at first, except for the fact that we lived thousands of miles away. Things started getting really rocky a few months into the relationship, and we were just constantly fighting and crying our hearts out over the phone.

We now live together (I moved all the way across the country to be with him), and things just went from bad to worse. I have caught him in endless lies, and have reason to believe that he's cheated on me. Of course, when I confront him about it, he just denies it. When I ask him why he lied to me, or why he did this or that, he always says "I don't know". He never has a clear answer for anything.

I really don't think I should be posting the details of what he's done, but let's just say that I've never cried more or felt worse in my entire life. But recently, anytime we get in any kind of argument, or anytime he sees that I'm upset but don't want to talk to him about it (which is a lot), he becomes really violent. Not with me, but with himself. He will start punching himself in the head really hard, leaving bumps and a throbbing headache. Sometimes he bangs his head against the wall, or punches a wall.

His family has a long history of domestic violence, and I can't say I don't fear for my own safety sometimes. I always try to calm him down, but I get scared that he's going to turn on me at any point.

I've thought about breaking up so many times, and I just can't get myself to do it... I don't know if it's because I really love him, or because I'm scared of what he'll do to me or himself. I'm just really confused and have no one to talk to. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Can you find a reason you SHOULD still be staying with him that are greater than being in a relationship where you are scared for your physical safety, are emotionally distraught, and cannot trust the man you are with?

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What Girls Said 5

  • my daughter had a boyfriend like that for many years even has kids by him.. he went from bad to worse, punching his self, drinking being disrespectful. She soon realized that as much as she loves him, its a dead end relationship and dumped him. She still misses him but its getting easier each day. You need to leave at all costs or u will be crying forever with this asshole. You deserve to be in a loving relationship with a man whom can be trusted

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  • You better Run. If he makes you cry all of the time then it is abuse and it sounds as if he has severe mental problems. You should really run.

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  • don't stay. reach out to family for support, but it's not healthy for you to be with him anymore.

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  • If there is any violence or abuse then you need to get out realtionsip.

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  • Run dont walk Run

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