i don't even know what to do... last night we were talking about our differences and he said that there are some traits about the way i show my affection (beacuse i'm not a affective-words person. i don't usually say what i feel. it happens but not as often).
well, in the past he tried to hurt me for that, for something that was wrong with us and for the fact that we are somehow different. he wanted to get a revenge for that and he punished me by being a jerk a whole day. then we just moved on with the relationship like nothing had happened. i asked him about that. he said it is just a mood. a mood in which he just feels to be a jerk with me, but the intentiion was not to hurt me. he did that anyway. he also said he cares about me a lot, that i somehow bring him peace and that is amazing to be with me, but i also bring him pain somehow in the way i act. but he did't wanted to tell me what was it certainely, why he is so disturbed. i just couldn't make him told me that.
he also said that he needs power to walk over my traits and that he doesn't know if he can do that. we wants to try but he is affraid he won;t succed. "i çan't guarantee you that i would pass through it" he said. then i said that i could not force him to do that, to take me as i am if he does not feel like doing that. he said "thanks". well, it was like 5 o'clock in the morning and i relly needed some sleep so we both agreed to go to sleep. but what does it mean? did he really break up with me? will we talk about it again later? has he decided to move on and forget me and give up his feelings for me?
i don;t even know that to say. somehow i wish we weren't over... i feel that it is not over
i have to know what he is thinking...