Can someone please explain my ex to me? Using me or not over me?

Ex boyfriend and I had been having some space since our breakup (the breakup was his call, 7 months ago) because for the first few months we could not stay out of bed with each other.

Because we still share some significant mutual friends I had let it go for a while, but was hating the awkwardness when we would be at an event together so I decided to try and bridge the gap and start some friendly conversation over text in the week prior to a big event we would both be attending.

In some ways, it was like we'd never stopped talking. We got along like a house on fire straight away. I asked him a few passing comments (nothing nasty) about a girl he has been seeing and called her his girlfriend.
He got really defensive and annoyed and kept going out of his way to tell me she wasn't his girlfriend.

The event rolled around and the awkwardness had immediately lifted. In fact at one stage I realised - probably too much. He was drinking and flirting with me like crazy. I was a bit flat with him about the whole thing, but eventually gave in and had a bit of a flirt too. Then I left the party and he kept texting me suggesting we hang out. I said no a few times but eventually gave in and picked him up from his place.
The night ended with both of us in my bed, talking about how we'd missed each other and him offering to help me with all these random things with my car and new house and of course there was a lot of sex.

I took him home in the morning and within a few hours I had a text saying that it was a bad idea. I replied saying I knew that, and reminded him I had said no. He continued to tell me he felt bad for 'her' (the girl he had been seeing) and that it was a dog act to have slept with me, and that he was trying to be a better person since we broke up. This of course made me incredibly angry after some of the things he had done to me in the past, and because he had gone so far out of his way to tell me she wasn't his girlfriend.

He refused to address that point and said he meant what he had said about missing me
Then he basically warned me he wouldn't be able to speak to me in front of 'her' at our next event, cause she knew about what had happened and was mad about it
So this weeks event she was like a cat spraying her territory and he was a jerk and could barely say hello. He told me he wouldn't be an ass, but he was and they made out in front of me and were awful to be around.



Most Helpful Girl

  • He's using you badly.

    • Totally agree but I've called him out on it and he insists he isn't. Repeatedly.


    • Of course he will deny it. He's getting to use you & your letting him. Next time he calls don't answer if he comes by don't let him in.

    • Thanks

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  • What a douche, ignore him, you honestly deserve so much better. Its like it was planned

    • i get that feeling often with him

      I think he's just taking everyone along for a ride, the girl he's seeing included !