How to deal with a guy who has been cheated on?

I've been seeing this guy for a few months. I know that he likes me and I really like him too but he's been withdrawn or not completely available emotionally. He had just gotten out of a very serious relationship about 6 months before we met where he was engaged and he was cheated on and dumped. I feel bad for the situation but felt that things had become one sided. I told him that I was unhappy and wanted to take a break. He is now trying to act like everything is fine and hasn't really acknowledged what I've said. I'm not sure why he would do that or how to handle the situation from here...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Follow your gut. If he was engaged to this girl, that means at some point in his life, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She ruined everything through cheating, consequently wounding him in the process. Unfortunately, your guy is still emotionally unavailable. It sometimes take people a while to get over such situations since its something that betrayed trust, love etc.

    You're smart to take a break. Some people try to move on and suppress feelings thinking they can just get another girl, and life will be fine. I dont think this is the case. I think he is trying to move on, but he is hurt... STILL. And I believe that us evident if he is not completely present in EVERY way in your relationship.

    If I were you, I would put an end to things for good. It sounds like he needs more time to himself to heal. Good luck.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like he went through a lot. You have to take it slow, and be patient; its going to take a little bit of time for him to trust someone on that same emotional level again. What you can do is show that you are there for him and that he has nothing to worry about. You can reassure him once in awhile that he is special and that he is the only one you like, and that you want to be with. With time his walls will eventually come down and will be more emotionally available but it will be awhile.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well if you showed him you felt bad about his situation and he didn't say anything when you told him you felt unhappy, then he might be seeking attention right now, and is understandable, he's depressed, I once met a guy who told me he got really depressed after his wife cheated on him, and he would just want to spend his day in bed and not wanting to see or talk to anyone. We as girls talk to each other, cry with each other and eat ice cream, all that stuff, but guys are different. If you really like him try to be there just as a friend right now, if he trust you and opens up to you about his personal feelings, then that's a good thing. But I'd say he is not ready for a relationship right now, he just needs someone to talk to. But he also has to be there for you, at least make an effort.
    But ultimately is your choice if you want to be there for him as a friend, at least for now. And maybe he'll see that in you and you could be more than friends in the future. ;)

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