Torn and not knowing what to do...?

This is a little bit of a long question but bare with me I need some advice. I have been dating this guy for almost 4 years now and I am starting to feel like I have no future with him. He is 25 and I am 22. This morning I made a pros and cons list relating to him.. this is what it came out like:

PROS: he's sweet, he's good to me, he's cute and fun, he's my best friend at times, he's good to everyone, and he comes from a good family who i've grown to love.

CONS: smokes WAY TOO MUCH WEED that it's messing with simple tasks in life, smokes cigs like a chimney, lacks motivation to take care of himself (puts himself down), not the best lover, talks too much and bullshits a lot when he talks, we have nothing in common honestly.., he's a burnout (droppped out of school), no ambition or dreams, acts still like a boy and lives with his parents.

He is a fixer upper and I've really tried with him. I love him because I've been with him for so long but I feel as of now I really see no future.. It's like I almost want to be.. alone.. though I do get scared of the thought but I have dreams and ambitions and I feel like I'm changing and growing as a person and he's an anchor not planning to go anywhere or do anything.. Im so torn because I don't know what I should do. Break up or try and make it work (which would be SO very difficult. Help please:(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I looks like you will be taking care of him for the rest of his life if he decides to continue this path.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Weed kills ambitions motivation and being a good lover. Not saying to give up on him. He just has to give that shit up. I used to be that guy.

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    • the thing is i dont think he ever will.. weed or cigs.. im not even motivation enough for him i feel

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    • awh its nice to talk to someone whos sort of in the same boat, its comforting

    • You making a change might open his eyes. When you show him your not going to be there every second he will take a look at himself and the situation

What Girls Said 1

  • MOVE ON. He sounds like a deadbeat and is holding you back. Some people you need to let go of.

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    • I don't even know what i'd say though to him.. after almost 4 years.. :(

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