Obsessed with an old flame about to get married in a couple of months?

It's ruining my life now and I am engaged to a new woman. I bumped into an old flame a month ago and we started to talk again. She moved to the east coast for college but came home to visit. When I saw her... damn it was amazing. I told my fiancé about this and she said we could work through it. I want to marry her but now I'm just questioning it. I find myself jerking to pictures of her, picturing her in bed, missing her every second and regretting letting her walk out the door. I want to be with her every second of the day and myself getting irritated because I wake up not next to her. I know I need to cut her out of my life but I can't. I kissed her on the cheek before she left and it brought back so many memories. It wasa bad break up. We got overly heated on an argument and she stormed out. I accused her of cheating because my now fiancé (best friend then) said she saw her with some one else. She stormed out the door and never came back only to pick up her things when I was at work. I started dating best friend and found out once we started getting serious my ex never cheated. I forgave my fiancé and now we are "happily" engaged.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I believe u should kill the old flame so u don't think about her any mor jk

    • So you'll help me hide the body?

    • course
      y else would I sugjest it
      tell me the address lololo

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What Girls Said 3

  • :/ wow, heart-wrenching story. Either find closure with the first girl before you get married, or don't get married to the second girl, that's my advice for you.

  • The question would be how strong your feelings are; what was the reason you accused her of cheating in the first place; other you bff telling you what she saw? How long has it been since the breakup? Could it have been your bff reason on telling you bc she wanted you?

    So, ultimately I think you need to find some type of answers to these questions, so you can have closure, bc if you're doing intimate things to hear image; I believe you still feel something towards her bc she isn't anonymous like if you were watching a p*rn.

  • If you don't want to marry the woman you're engaged to then call it off. Better to do it now than to regret it later right? If you can't see yourself being happy with her then don't put yourself through all that regret and bitterness.

    As for your old flame, you might just have to leave her be, especially while you are still engaged. You might be able to work things out later on, or maybe she is just not interested in rekindling things at all, but either way it may be best to try to put her out of your mind for the time being.


What Guys Said 2

  • Think about what this says about your current fiance. That she lied to break you up with your ex just so she could have you. Is that the kind of person you want to marry?

  • So basically this best friend (now fiance) "worked" you by lying about your ex seeing someone else. You shouldn't have "forgave" your fiance ! She hurt you. I wouldn't accept that kind of behavior. IF she loves me she is supposed to be happy for me. She destroyed your future just so she could squize herself in your life.
    I had someone that destroyed my relationship with a girl i saw as the one, just because she was jealous. I will never fogive her. Let alone get in a relationship with her.
    At least postpone the marriage. Tell her you want some time and maybe even tell her why. She is supposed to at least understand especially that she trumped your heart just to have you for herself. If she doesn't, then it's time to leave her.
    But this is not the kind of woman to want to spend your life with. I'm honest. She'll never truly be happy for you, she's selfish and posessive and will try to manipulate you.
    Maybe i'm bitter bc of my situation BUT she lied about something that never happened. That thing ruined your relationship with the one you loved. And i see you still do !

    • I still do love her greatly. But she's in the east coast now. What am I suppose to do?

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    • This is basically what happened from what I remember that night she walked out: I confronted her told her what my friend now fiance said and told her this was the last straw im done i never want to see you again. Guys always flirted with her even though she did nothing back it bothered me greatly. She texted me saying how I need to mature first and how she will wait. She did leave a letter on my bed said she will treat this as a break and hopes the album of us will knock some sense into me. She left several things to help "remind" me i guess that was her way of fighting i don't know. what do you think?

    • oh she said "i always knew you'd come back"

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