My boyfriend broke up with me. Any advice?

He’s depressed and needs to figure out his life. He’s 29 and he said all of this just hit him now thinking about life and where he wants to be an do. He said we’re still going to remain friends and if I ever have a problem, I can talk to him. It was really very upsetting to me the past few days but after i got to talk to him about me and him, I felt better. I also felt a lot better talking to my best friends.

We both have a wedding to go to for our friends at the end of April . So we’re just going to go as friends.

He said maybe in the future we’ll get back together, but he doesn’t want me to wait around for him. If i find someone else. That will be good. But we both will need to heal.

He still cares for me and I do too.

He was a good boyfriend. He taught a lot of things. I know at times that he put me down like calling me fat, ugly and stupid. I never let that get to me because I knew I was never any of those things. But he was just really insecure about himself.

Today he told me that I’m neither of those things. He said I’m not fat and that I’m very beautiful and smart.

So when he dropped me off at home, we both hugged and he kissed me on the head.

I know it’s going to take us both time to heal, but we’ll get through this.

So I don’t know if I should call him my ex. I know I’m not going to refer to him as my boyfriend anymore. So I’ll just call him my guy friend.

If anyone has any advice on break ups, let me know because this was both our first real long relationship. It lasted four years.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If this guy really loves you he wouldn't leave you and wouldn't say things like that to you. Maybe he did love you but I think the way he treated you, like saying you were fat and ugly, is not right. Well don't wait for him to come back, I don't think he will comeback though. So when he broke up with you he didn't think of what you feel, he is kind of selfish because he only think about himself. I think you should just forget him. You guys are better to be just friends. You'll find the right guy for you in time.

    • He's depressed. He doesn't know what he wants. Trust me, I've been in his position before. I really think he needs to talk to a therapist. He did think of how I felt and he felt bad for me.

    • Show All
    • I'm going to try. I gotta find a good one first. Do you think he should talk to a man or woman about it?

    • A man first.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Depression makes you do stupid shit. Trust me, I would know

    • Yeah I've been there before/still kinda do. I suffer from depression, anxiety and panic attacks.

  • Call him your ex, and make sure he stays an ex. That's my opinion, anyway.

    My advice would be to not dwell on the good times but to remember the bad times, to cut ties (I wouldn't attend this wedding with him if I were you), and do fun things with friends and surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Time will take care of the rest.

    • I have to attend the wedding. My sister is a bridesmaid and the bride is one of my very good friends. The groom is my guys best friend. I think it will be ok. There were more good times with us than bad ones.

  • get another boyfriend... or watch a comedy


What Girls Said 2

  • Woah girl. He put you down and called you fat, ugly, and stupid? You dodged a bullet there. Leave and never look back. Never let a man put you down, for any reason at all! Especially if he's insecure; then he's merely using and abusing you to make himself feel more empowered.
    And he says that you might get back together, but it's okay if you find someone else?

    You don't need his permission to find someone else, and you don't live on his terms. There's no love in this relationship. More importantly, there is not respect.

    I know it'll be really hard, but just remember that everything will pass. You deserve better, and you're meant for better things. Maybe make a list of everything about him you disliked. Pick up a new hobby. Get out there and make new friends. Make a genuine effort to keep yourself busy and motivated every day. Don't let your self-esteem dip because you were dumped, and don't give yourself the opportunity to feel lonely.

    If you want a really thorough break, throw away/burn everything he gave to you, or has special meaning to you. Cut off all contact (for at least a month or two, until you feel independent enough to contact him without wanting to get back together.) If he really wants to be friends still, he'll wait. No matter what, don't let him dangle your emotions on a string.

    • I didn't ask for his permission so I can find someone else. I'm going to do it myself. He said that if I find someone better than him, I'm obviously not going to go back to him. I'll just keep him as a friend. He did respect me and he was in love with me. I joined a Zumba class and I'm going to hang out with my friends more. I'm also really glad that I have friends that are his friends. The only thing I disliked about him was that he didn't want to go out with me and my friends. He's a lot like my dad. My self esteem is great! I've never put myself down. I'm keeping the stuff he got for me and it was my birthday this past week and he got me something that I always wanted. So I'm not going to throw that away. He's been calling and texting me. So I feel really better. He said he'll hang out with me within 3 months. Don't worry about me, I've got this.

  • End of twenties is difficult for many people. He has problems clearly. But the trust me, if a guy wants to be with a girl, no matter how he finds a way to be with that girl.. For him, connection by the way him and you already finished. I know it is difficult, but move on girl. Some continue, some finish. Find a relationship that makes you valuable.


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