I have been with my boyfriend for two years. We live together and have been been planning our future together. He is a musician and has been working on cruise ships on and off for the last year but he has quit that now as he he hates being away from me. I know he loves me and I very much love him and want nothing more than the future we had planned together.
HOWEVER!!! He is currently away for the week. He told me that a group he met on the cruise are hosting a week long party and have asked him to play. They wouldn't pay him but would pay for his flights, accommodation, food etc. There was something about this didn't quite ring true with me and I asked him many times what he was really going away for, telling him outright I didn't believe him. He stuck to the story and the more details he gave the more it sounded plausible. I left him to the airport the other morning, without his guitar which immediately rang alarm bells again.
Yesterday, I was doing some work on the computer and his Facebook was logged in. I have never snooped before but I couldn't help myself. Glad I did! It turns out that he is spending this week with a woman he met on the cruise, who is 15 years older than him, married and obviously rich...she's paying for everything. The messages between them were REALLY hard to read. Very sexual. I am beyond devastated. Obviously he doesn't know I know yet or that when he gets back on Friday all his belongings will be packed and we're done.
Outside of all those details, my question is really this...WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? Why would he plan this week with her? Why would he lie so blatantly to me? Why give up his job for me only to jepeordize our relationship? What is he getting from this (apart from the obvious. That makes me feel sick)? I feel like a complete fool. He's a jealous person. Now I know why!!! Does he actually love me? I said I know he does but does he just think he does? We're not exactly kids here. Why plan a life with me?
Most Helpful Guy
I feel sorry for you.I know it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.I've been there.It might take a couple of years before the taste really wears off (if you've known him 2 years).
Be thankful he didn't wait until you were married to do this shit.Don't look for a reason;they don't need a reason.I've noted that those who are most jealous and untrusting are the ones who can't be trusted (they imagine others are as trustworthy as them).
He probably figured he could have his cake and eat it too.The greed tempted him.Most men wouldn't take on that position (15 years older, and almost over the hill) for any amount of money.I don't think I've banged a woman older than me (10 or even 20+ years younger, yes).
If that's tempted him, he's likely to be tempted again in other situations.I can only say that he's a dick-head, and is very likely to regret his actions.I wouldn't like to be his age and shacked up with a 55 or 60 year old.The future doesn't look bright;not for any amount of money.
In any case, even if she was your age, it's a lousy thing to do.Money is replacable, some things aren't.
Stay well.Eat healthy (even add a vitamin supplement), and exercise will help relieve the tension.Don't just sit around feeling sorry.I'm sure you'll do better, soon enough.0