How long were you single after divorce before you started dating again?

I have been physically separated with zero contact for over a year and a half, but the actual divorce and last time I saw my ex husband was only a little over a year ago.
I'm simply not ready, and know we all move at our own pace. But I'm curious what your pace was or how you felt and the process you may have gone through before feeling ready?
I was with my ex husband since we were teens, so for me, I've not even been single since then and I'm already almost 30!
I very happy to be single and not sure if or when I will ever be ready to let someone in. I enjoy my freedom, haven't dated and I feel uninterested when approached. I feel something is wrong with me, is there?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I post this so much I am sure there are people saying "NOT AGAIN" but here it goes...
    I was just divorced in January (wife's doing, not mine) after 25 years together and 20 years married. I lived at the house until the day the divorce was final. although it was probably November the last time we had sex, emotionally she hasn't been there for me for almost 2 years. That has been harder then being without her physically.
    I was destroyed. She was my world. I have been trying to get past this but could not let go. Then I found out 3 weeks ago she is seeing someone and probably was seeing him before we were actually divorced. I lost it. But it pushed me to Bottom out. it was kill myself or get past it. she has continued to just rub things in my face only to hurt me during this entire process. I was finally able to mentally say goodbye to her. I felt like a 2000lb weight lifted off of me. I was at the gym last Monday and thought I recognized a woman from high school (one year behind me). I thought, screw it, and took a chance. it was her. We consider that our first date because 1.5 hours never went by so fast. we have had 2 dates a a mini make out session since and are going out again tonight.
    I have been walking around all week smiling like a teenager. I actually caught myself singing while doing laundry the other day. I am happier then I have been in years.
    I did not think I would be ready for a very long time. And it is possible I really am not ready. But I know that finding out that I am not a waste of a human being that my wife made me feel like, that there is someone out there that could find someone like me attractive, has changed me in the last week. I have accepted that I will probably get hurt. but if I made it through loosing my best friend and the person I loved with all my heart after 25 years, I will be able to get past someone I am dating dumping me. I refuse to continue to be unhappy. it is your choice to make.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Some women don't need a man.If you're not ravenously horny after going a week without a man, it's unlikely you'd ever keep one happy.

    I found another girl within about 6 months of the wife being unfaithful (multiple) and wanting a divorce.


What Girls Said 1

  • Once I filed for divorce, it was really only a matter of months before I started dating again. However, it was over long before I filed.. he'd cheated and lied months prior and I tried to make it work, once it became clear that it wasn't working, I struggled with the decision to file for a divorce. The feeling of betrayal only helped with the moving on process. Helped me realize that I was doing the right thing for me, and that it wasn't a mistake. Moving forward was easy once I knew there was no going back.


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