How to distance yourself from a group of friends?

Ever since I had my daughter last June, my friends and I have been distant. They still have late nights out and party while I choose to stay at home with my daughter. I'm tired of feeling angry and jealous when I see them all hanging out and having a good time without me. I've told them how I've felt and nothing changes. It's really difficult for me because they are the only friends I have left because after I graduated high school two years ago, a lot of people went their own way. For those of you who have done it, how did you go your own way and start over again?
I should clarify that I feel angry because when they do hang out at a reasonable hour they won't include me and that it's a one way street when it comes to keeping contact on my side.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You are angry and jealous when seeing them doing what they always have. Did you expect that just because you had a child all your friends would suddenly change their lifestyles? Would you have suddenly given up hanging out and having a good time just because someone else had a child?

    I really understand how the changes can leave you alone and missing the fun you had before. But this is something you did (whether by choice or accident) and you should feel no anger at them.

    I commend you for choosing your daughter over the lifestyle that used to be yours. Now you need to find others who have children, whether married or single, who understand and share your new lifestyle. I do not know what your circumstances are, but places people can look for the new friends is their neighborhoods, their schools, their workplaces, their churches, etc.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I went through the same thing; I finally told my single friends I could see them once a month on a regular schedule, but otherwise, no more late nights now that I'm a dad. And no last minute calls to see if I'm available, because I almost always won't be!

    They understood. Now I don't feel angry toward them; we just have different schedules we have to follow now.

  • You got a family now which takes priority.


What Girls Said 1

  • You technically started going your own way when you had a baby. You're a parent now you have different priorities than they do being non-parents. And you're all still fairly young and they have no intentions of settling down. So I don't know how you'd get angry. It isn't like they can invite you to all night keg parties at any given time anymore. Then most they can do is be there but still somewhat at a distance. If they could've tried to balance like a schedule with you that probably would've been nice but that usually happens when you've been tempered to be around children and have a bit of understanding. I've had to move on and change a lot more people I called friends like I change my sox. Just be comfortable with yourself and put yourself out there and talk to people. Join like a mommy group, "baby and me yoga" program for example.


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