Why is he being so selfish? How to cope with rejection?

I met this guy long time ago on a trip abroad, we had a great time and I never thought I would meet him again in my life. A year after that I moved to NYC and he reconnected with me again. We started seeing each other, but it was not like a serous relationship. Although I did fall for him (which I never expressed to him). Two months after that he told me he got a great job opportunity in Asia and was considering taking it. I said you should take it although I really wanted him to stay. So he accepted the job offer and departed. We kept in touch and it was very hard for me to move on with my life. He was telling me how he missed me and all this BS.. So whenever he was back in the USs for vacation we would be seeing each other again and obviously it didn't help me get over him. And that was going on for 2 years. A month ago he came back for a short vacation and we spent tht time together again. But I guess I finally realized it is a vicious cycle and I just can't do that anymore. I stoped responding to his messages and he asked me what he did wrong. And I said I am sorry but I can't treat it as just sex because I do have feelings for you. And I am done with this and I said goodbye to him. He attacked me w the messages saying how sorry he is and that I mean so much to him and how he wants to be part of my life. He is confused as well and he doesn't know what to do but he just can't do long distance and because for now he works in another country he wants to be friends. I said I can't I don't sleep with friends.
Bottom line is I feel like he won't leave me alone unless I stop responding and taking his calls. I do have feelings for him but I can't do this "friendship" although we did have amazing sex and we are super compatible in that sense and that's my biggest fear is that he is only trying to keep me around because of sex.
How do I get over him?

He is 35, I am 27.


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What Guys Said 2

  • There are more than one guy in the world. You like his worldyness. Find another monkey. I gurantee you he has another in Asia. I have done business in Asia and depending on where he is at, he has a girlfriend or wife and loves coming to a different side of the planet and having another woman in love with him.

    It is very common with Europeans to have wives or mistresses in different countries and it would not surprise me if his girl in Asia did not know about you and you are approved by her because he knows he is not with a hooker. The rules and roles are different around the world.

    You are best to get out but if you can get him out of your mind, do the pop in. Book a flight and surprise him, that will put an end to it for sure.

  • find somebody else


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