What are the chances of my ex-gf coming back?

My ex and i have been broken up for 2 1/2 months. The reason for our break up was my cheating. During the 2 1/2 months we've been in contact through texting and phones calls. During this time she has started to see someone which i just found out about 3 weeks ago. We've hung out twice in the last 2 weeks both times we've kissed & last week we were actually intimate. My ex claims she loves me and wants to be with me but says she finds it easier to see another guy as a distraction than to trust me, work it out & possible get hurt all over again. I gave her an ultimatum the other day via email expressing my feelings because i didn't want to be strung along anymore. She never replied & i haven't heard from her since...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I dont think you're in any type of position to give HER an ultimatum. Remember, you cheated on her and now her trust for you is little to nothing, hence her being conflicted. Feelings for someone doesn't just go away over night, and that's why you guys were intimate. But I think you should fall back...WAYYY back with trying to push her into anything. If you take a moment and think of how you would feel if she cheated on you, that might change your perspective. You need to give her time to decide what she wants and I think its selfish of you to put a time frame on that and YOU broke her heart. Lets get real here. If you can't wait for her to decide, or if you can't give her space and time, then move on. That might be better in the end anyway.

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    • I do agree I probably shouldn't have given her an ultimatum. I was being impulsive thinking of only my own feelings. Since she's seeing someone else, i will step back as I have in the past...wait to see what happens. Thank you

    • Thanks

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What Girls Said 1

  • Ultimatums should never be given to someone you love. It kills the relationship in my opinion. I understand you not wanting to be strung along but you cheated on her, you need to give her all the time she needs. Is she worth it in the end? Is it worth the chance of being strung along? The fact that she is even considering giving you another chance is a sure sign of love. Don't push her to decide, that takes a long time to get over. And even if she does decide to be with you again, are you prepared for her to have trust issues? Will you be able to deal with her throwing it in your face every time you don't answer her phone calls/text, or you going out with friends, or even a fight that has nothing to do with it? For her to give you another chance is a huge decision, but its just as equally big for you to allow her to give you another chance.

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    • Thank you for your feedback, I agree the ultimatum was probably a bad idea. As I thought about it, I was being impulsive. She's been very good about not bringing up the past. I've given her space so time we'll tell what happens...

What Guys Said 1

  • I was in your position, I cheated on my ex, she broke up with me and I told her a few months later. She wanted me back even though I told her that I cheated on her. Where you and me differ is that although I loved her more than I have ever loved any other woman, I never showed her or gave her ultimatums. What I did do though was talk to her about other woman and I knew that she hated that. You see your ex wanted to know where she stood with you, not necessarily to get back together with you but just to know and you revealed your feelings. I never did. The danger that you will have if you ever did get back with your ex is that she will do the same to you as you did to her. And she will do it with a smile. Look back to why you cheated on your ex in the first place and therein is the answer to this question. I had a great time with the girl that I slept with and cheated on my ex and to this day have no regrets though I really loved my ex

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