Boyfriend cheated. should I stay?

We have been together 4 years. We are 22/23 and we have been having an ongoing issue. He always had a problem with going out without me and talking to girls (no cheating that I know of) and every time I caught him he begged me to stay, crying and was good for a bit but he keeps making the same mistake

He's been really weird the last couple months. I kept begging him to tell me what's going on because I thought he cheated on me with his new friend who's a girl... But last night he broke down and told me he's been going out without me to clubs and stuff. Talking and dancing with girls. Mind you his toomate already gave me a heads up about him cheating and I sort of tried to accept it before he admitted it. All this time he lied lied and lied making me seem like the nagging one and accused me of cheating. He told me he was drunk dancing with a girl and she kissed him and it lasted for a second or two. Then they kept dancing and he said he felt bad and didn't kiss her a second time when she tried. She then stormed off and went to dance with another guy... I asked him why he kissed her back and he said he was sort dk hesitant but didn't pull away or push her off since he was curious because he said girls never try to do that with him.

I'm starting to think maybe it was more than that. Because I understand people get ambushed sometimes and there's nothing you can do about it. But he is strait up telling me he cheated.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • if it were a shorter relationship then i would say leave.

    But since it was for 4 years i would give him a second chance. Make it very clear that if ANYTHING happens again or he makes a mistake again then you WILL leave him. He was crying and seemed to felt bad about what he did and stuff.

    But one thing is that everyone has friends of the opposite gender...i have many many lady friends and my girl has lots lots of guy friends. That fine i get that but keep an eye on him. If he is talking to another girl don't flip out. Flirting with her? different story you know?

    Hope this helps. Keep me updated and i'm here to help if you need it! Good luck!

    Chazz

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly girl, you would be a fool to stay with him.
    He took a massive sh*t all over your lengthy relationship and the bond you put so much effort into solidifying. Not only that, but he didn't just slip up; it was an ongoing unfaithful process for him. It wasn't just one occasion, he was emotionally cheating on you for a while before he got to physically cheating. Walk away with your pride and don't settle for someone who doesn't respect you enough to consider your feelings. There are much better men out there.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • I wouldn't stay but that's because I think people should have enough self-control and respect for their significant other not to cheat.

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  • Kick him to the curb
    He ain't worth it dishonest and untrustworthy
    And I bet he's only telling u cos he's guilty and can feel better by only telling u what ur forgive him for
    He s admitting some so his guilt is at a bearable level
    Listen to his mates
    What fantasy land does he live in
    A girl storms off cos he didn't kiss her back after she kissed him

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  • I don't even have to read your description. The answer is yes. I'm not religious by any stretch but there's a reason why Christian God said that the only thing that should break a union is fidelity.

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    • In my opinion, a union is nothing short of binding, legalized marriage. Nonetheless, infidelity is unfaithfulness/disloyalty. Did her boyfriend sexual interactions remain within the confines of their relationship, or as you stated, their "union?" Not at all. Now, why should she stay, again?

    • I apologise if I didn't make it clear, yes to leaving him lol

  • Cheating for me is a one-and-done. I don't care to hear reasons or excuses...that's it, it's over.

    So my advice to you would be to dump him.

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  • Ask yourself this if you cheated on your boyfriend and you did to him what he did to you in your question, would you expect him to stay with you. No. Simple

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  • No, you should have sex with me to get back at him. It'll feel great... multiple times. ;)

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  • off course stay, guys who don't try and cheat are very rare. girls should just accept cheating as part and parcel of a relationship

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    • you wouldn't be mad of your girl made out with another guy

    • Show All
    • no, rships are BS, so is girl waiting to put out, so it don't bother me.

    • I might be to old but I would never date a guy that ever used the word skipper as a name anyways. Too many funny thoughts come to mind. Over too quickly?

  • what would be your state of mind if you decide to give him a chance?

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  • I don't believe cheating is wrong. but then don't stay, it's not worth it.

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  • Once a cheater always a cheater

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What Girls Said 12

  • It is more than that, I think. Cheaters often accuse their SO's of cheating because it takes the focus off of them, and because they're paranoid since they're the ones who are cheating. So I think he has done more than just kissed some girl for a second or two.
    If I were you, I would leave him. Drunk or not, he should be able to push girls away if they try to do anything with him.

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  • No, you shouldn't stay. He betrayed your trust so many times and yet you are still willing to give him another chance. What the hell are you doing with a person who doesn't respect you?
    You need to walk away.

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  • I can't give straight advice because I don't know all of the circumstances and don't know you or your BF...but based on what you've written...if I was in your position, I'd leave him now...he doesn't seem like a very considerate person...listen to your gut...if you think he is doing more than he probably is...

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  • I don't know if he really did cheat. Though, I'm your age and I live with my boyfriend...if he spend his time going to clubs (a place to hit off) without me, I would be so upset. It doesn't really show that he cares for you, it's like he wants the best of it, the girlfriend and the single life.

    The only think you can ask yourself:
    Could you trust him in the future?
    Would you forget him?

    If your answer is No to those two question, breaking off is probably the only solution.

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  • Nope, nope, nope. Run. Run as fast as you can, and kick his ass to the curb. Don't look back. He will always cheat. He did it once to ya, and he'll do it again. Teach his ass a lesson.

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  • Never stay with someone who's cheated on you and is always going out with other girls. He will never change no matter how much he apologizes to you and changes for a week or so. He will always go back to his old ways. If he's done it once to you, he will continue to do it to you since you're little him get away with it.

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  • Neeeewwwwwwww. do not stay. it sounds like he has some major issues you shouldn't get mixed up in any more than you are. If you stay and he cheats again, sure it's his fault, but you will probably regret the pain you feel and blame yourself for staying. Plus, his "success" at getting you to stay once will probably fuel his belief that he can get you or some future girl to stay again and he'll just keep hurting people.

    This really sucks for you, I can imagine it hurts a lot, so think of yourself and at least take a serious break from the relationship to focus on positive things. Test the waters, maybe even have some unattached recovery sex if that's something you're into, and start to think of yourself as single. As you focus on yourself, you may even see how this man reacts to you being gone and see his true colors a bit clearer. He doesn't sound like he respected you before cheating, and he probably still won't, so try to really examine that and move on. That's my advice!!

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  • Nope. Cheating and abuse are clear cut lines in the sand. He's gone baby! Move on to bigger and better!

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  • Nope. I only read the title question, and the answer is 'no'.

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  • Please listen if he is hurting you constantly by flirting with his female friends and now he's cheated by kissing it seems like your relationship is a sinking boat could you really trust someonelike that? Do you want to marry someone like that? I just want you to know I feel cheating is the end if you cheat I will dump you. But... I don't know your whole story if he's worth it carefully watch him. And make him realize that that's not ok! And to all the guys who say it is just ask them how furious they'd be if their girlfriends cheated on them.

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  • Runaway !!! He sounds like a total wuss too !!

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  • Ofcourse not! Leave him. Don't look back.

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