How do you get over a first love?

I feel like my ex did me so wrong and I know I can't and shouldn't go back. The thing is, I feel like I'm so in love that I'm letting him walk all over me. I want to have the strength to leave without reaching out or letting him convince that we are good together but it's hard... How do I do it? Please, help me... My heart aches and I want the pain to go away. I can't live like this.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Only time can heal this kind of wound :/ Surround yourself with people who love you and will care for you, and remind you about how bad your relationship was with your ex. I've been in your boat before, and I got over it by talking to other guys and realizing that there are plenty other fish in the sea, who are more suitable for you than your ex. Don't get into anything serious right away. There's nothing wrong with a little bit of rebound as long as you tell the guy that you're just looking for someone to be there for you and cuddle you if necessary, nothing more. Try that, you'll feel better if you're not going through it so alone. Call up a guy friend that you may have buried deep in the friend zone a long time ago, and go out with him. Some no-pressure, platonic, comfortable male attention will keep your mind off of how heart broken you are. I know your heart may not be in it, but as time goes on, it will feel more and more natural. I think that hanging out with your girlfriends might make it worse because they want to talk about it with you, while a guy friend won't. Guys are good at not talking about that sort of thing.
    Also, consider taking up new hobbies. Start running, or learn to knit, just put effort into making your own self happy. Do what makes you feel good about yourself, and in general. Take all the love you had for him, and put it on yourself. You deserve it!
    I hope you feel better soon, I'm sorry you're heart broken :/


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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah I got over my first love. It took a year and didn't help that she terrorized my life after the relationship was over but I got over her. I did it by putting more time and effort into other things, like my education, friends and hobbies. I also dated some other girls when things started seeming a bit more positive. The first love is always the hardest but things get better and when you look back on it, it might even seem silly to you that you were even in love with that person to begin with.

  • sometimes you can't . It is going to be my 20 year reunion in June and I still think of someone who I went to school with. She was in love with me and I felt the same but with parental bullcrap, I lost sight of what I had. Could of been once in a lifetime, could of been a couple years. But because of that crap, it is a cross I will bare most of my life


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